Miss Cellania

I Think He Means It

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:00:56 +0000

Senior Social Networking

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 17:05:54 +0000

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot.."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.

We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The tv remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.

(Thanks, John Gross!)

Artificial Intelligence

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 15:00:21 +0000

From Married to the Sea.

Tortoise Eating a Salad

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:00:10 +0000

A Sulcata tortoise enjoys a salad, which probably took hours in real time. Sped up with a dramatic soundtrack, he's an unstoppable eating machine. (via Geekosystem)

Miss Cellania's Links

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:00:42 +0000

Nancy Brinker, founder of the Susan G. Komen Foundation, defended the defunding of Planned Parenthood by saying the charity “would never bow to pressure.” That was just before they reversed course under pressure from all sides.

A new theme park in Ilsan, just outside Seoul, South Korea features interactive adventures using Kinect technology. That's way cheaper than building rides, exhibits, and a fantasy world.

Iceland's Historic Turf Houses: The Eco-Homes of the Future? There's no warmer, greener, or cheaper building material than Mother Earth.

Why we'll never find another planet like Earth. It has something very unique and important, and it's not people.

Periodic Tableware. This was my very first post on mental_floss, published five years ago today!

The story of Seymour, the cute kitten.

Have you seen Jake? If you do, let his friend know, because he doesn't check in often.

Laughing gas for everyone!

Satire or Racism?

Miss Cellania — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:40:24 +0000

Michigan Representative Pete Hoekstra (R) ran this campaign ad locally starting last night during the Super Bowl. He's trying to unseat Senator Debbie Stabenow (D). It doesn't mention that the country depicted is supposed to be China, but apparently the Congressman believes that should be obvious. The campaign responded to charges of racial stereotyping.

The Hoekstra campaign called the advertisement “satirical” and explained the broken English in the video as a reflection of China’s increasingly competitive education system.

“You have a Chinese girl speaking English - I want to hit on the education system, essentially. The fact that a Chinese girl is speaking English is a testament to how they can compete with us, when an American boy of the same age speaking Mandarin is absolutely insane, or unthinkable right now,” Hoekstra spokesperson Paul Ciaramitaro told POLITICO. “It exhibits another way in which China is competing with us globally.”

Satire? Xathlin, commenting at The Daily What, said it better than I could.

Me Chinese.
Me play gong.
Me born and raised in the United States and received a college degree, so I can understand that the difference between a satire and racism is that satire a general term for a literary expression that ridicules a social, political, or individual opinion that the author deems to be incorrect, provoking a response through criticism, whereas racism is a form of stereotype in order to ridicule, debase, and/or demonize a different culture, physical aspect, and way of life. Drawing Obama throwing piles of money into a fire labeled "bail-out" would be a satire, because it ridicules Obama's bail out plan. Drawing Obama as a slave picking cotton or chomping on fried chicken and drinking malt liquor is racism. This politician's ad may have intended to be a satire, but it gets its message via racism: debasing the Asian perspective as primitive, unintelligent, and exotic, provoking a natural response from "red-blooded" Americans to fire up their superiority complexes. Everything from the rice patties, the bike, the dirt country, the broken English, and the exotic female helps to portray this, since showing a powerful Chinese businessman in a power suit driving a Mercedes down a road lined with skyscrapers, although a truer representation to the booming economic side of China, would make China look dominant and more advanced.
Me know you wong.

(via The Daily What)