1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.

2 (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was

3 And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.

4 And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he wa)

5 To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

6 And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.

7 And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.

8 And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.

9 And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.

10 And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.

13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

15 And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

16 And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.

17 And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child.

18 And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.

19 But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

Text with links found at Christian Answers. Although newer translations are considered to be closer to the original, I prefer the majestic poetry of the King James Version for the Christmas story.

Previously at Miss Cellania: Good Tidings of Great Joy

Thought for today: ...and on earth, peace, good will toward men.

This post originally appeared on December 25th, 2005. 

It’s Christmas Eve. The gifts have all been purchased and wrapped, the house is relatively clean (enough for Santa Claus), and we have enough food for a casual Christmas dinner. The kids and I will take a few gifts out to friends today. Tonight, we’ll attend a candlelight service and drive around to look at the house lights. I’ll probably watch It's A Wonderful Life, and maybe I’ll even get the kids interested this year (but I won’t count on it). Getting them to sleep tonight will be a chore as it always is. I hope you are enjoying a relaxing holiday with family and friends. For a whole slew of Christmas videos, links, and full-length films, check the Christmas posts at Miss C Recommends. Here, I’ve got just a few lighthearted links and a great story for you today. Merry Christmas, everyone!

The Night Before Christmas

It’s an Edison film from 1905! Here's the IMDb link. (Thanks, Wilford!)

Make a Christmas ecard with a personalized animated message on your Christmas tree! (via Dump Trumpet)

Peter’s Holiday Poem for his Blogging Friends.

Ashland University always has beautiful interactive Christmas ecards.

Auggie Wren's Christmas Story. I certainly enjoyed this one. (via Metafilter)

The computers at Whole Foods in West Hartford, Connecticut went down during a snowstorm with plenty of customers waiting in line. What did they do? They gave the food away free.

A modern-day Good Samaritan.

THE POLAR EXPRESS

Mangesh Hattikudur, co-founder of mental_floss magazine (and blog), included this story in the mental_floss newsletter a couple of weeks ago. 

I figured I’d share a little story that reminds me of why I love the holidays. Last year around this time, my 4-year old niece was going through chemo for leukemia. She was having a rough time. She’d lost her hair, and while she was all smiles, she was too weak and sick to go to school, and didn’t have much interaction with other kids. Plus, like other children in the same condition, she was asked not to travel. But here’s the sweet part: a group of retired pilots arranged this big Christmas party at a New York airport, where all these young kids with leukemia were invited and told that they were finally going to go on a trip. So the kids were giddy. They and their parents were all given tickets, and herded onto a plane. Then the shutters were closed and the aircraft just taxied around while the kids sang carols and drank punch. And when they finally pulled up to a different terminal, which was decorated in snowflakes and candy canes, and filled with Christmas trees, the kids were told they’d arrived at the North Pole. When the party was over, they hopped on another plane and traveled back to New York.

I saw my niece a week later and she couldn’t stop chattering about her trip to the Arctic. Seeing Mrs. Claus, shaking hands with elves, and armed with the evidence of having been on a real live moving plane, she knew she’d traveled to Santa’s abode. And I know it made her miserable year so much better. I love the idea that something so small- driving an aircraft from one side of a runway to the other, was dreamed up into something so much more magical. I’d love to thank those pilots for organizing such a wonderful event, and bringing so many smiles to so many sick kids. I guess it just renews my faith in people when I hear that men and women are spending their spare time dreaming up events like these, and I hope you’re witnessing similar acts of goodness in your part of the globe.

You can read another account of a fantasy flight to the North Pole. And another. They do it in San Jose, California, also. And in Cleveland. The Navy is involved, too -see a video here. And here is a slideshow of images from one such flight.

You can sign up for the mental_floss newsletter at the site, and get a subscription to the magazine here.

I’ll Be Home for Christmas

Previously at Miss Cellania: It's A Wonderful Life, Christmas Treats, and Christmas at War.

Thought for today: I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.  ~Charles Dickens

humor jokes video funny Christmas holiday peace joy blessing

I had so many Christmas fun links that I had to split them somewhere. So I put the ones children as well as adults may enjoy here, though parents may want to preview them first. Some can be annoying! My kids have had quite a bit of fun with these, which interferes with their homework AND my internet time. While they are online, I have to resort to (shudder) housework! OH THE HORROR!

Ahem. Back to to Christmas. At left is my older daughter in her elf costume for the Christmas play a couple weeks ago. She was so excited to have a speaking part! Among her other lines, she called Santa Claus an �old Geezer�. Chip off the old block, she is. My other daughter has spent the last couple of weeks using up all my gift wrap, scotch tape, and boxes to wrap things I already own so she can give them to me on Christmas. When she runs out of tape, she goes back to all the virtual snowman sites I had here a few days ago.

Virtual Christmas snowglobe you can shake!

Christmas carol generator. Select a song, or construct your own and send it to friends. My daughter (the Star Wars nerd) picked out this song.

Christmas jigsaw puzzle. Not as difficult as it looks.

Musical Christmas postcards you can send to your friends.

This Christmas ecard is beautiful. Clicking one of the animations will lead you from page to page, just be sure to give it some load time.

Everything you didn't know about the TV special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Fascinating reading!

This is called Grow Ornament. I don't understand it, but its cute. I should ask my kids what to do with it.

Young children might enjoy decorating a gingerbread house online. (via Geek Like Me)

Watch the folks at Walt Disney World construct a giant gingerbread house! Three days of work are compressed into 30 seconds for this video.

Christmas Zoom.

Christmas Elf Name My Christmas Elf Name is Get your Christmas Elf Name at JokesUnlimited.com

Don't forget to follow Santa's takeoff and trajectory at NORAD Tracks Santa. The downloads page has a lot of fun stuff! Send your last-minute email to Santa throught the North Pole website. For a fast response, try this site. (Thanks, Wendy!)

This story of a little dog who wants a home for Christmas came in too late for the Dog' Christmas post, but it will fit here just fine.

You know how some people sing the wrong words to Christmas carols? Thats called a mondegreen. Here's a list of the funniest ones.

CHRISTMAS MONDEGREENS

A teacher in Atlanta asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols. She probably got fired for mentioning Christmas in school. Anyway here are some of the humorous lines she received:

Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly

We three kings of porridge and tar

On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me

Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.

He's makin a list, chicken and rice.

Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.

With the jelly toast proclaim

Olive, the other reindeer. (all of the other reindeer)

Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say

Sleep in heavenly peas

In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown

You'll go down in listerine

Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay

O come, froggy faithful

You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"

Previously at Miss Cellania: Christmas for Kids and Christmas Critters

Thought for Today: There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. -Erma Bombeck

The original version of this post first appeared on December 23rd, 2005.

humor links Christmas funny games children

My extended family exchanged Christmas gifts last night. It makes things rather handy when you can get rid of some gifts under the tree before you finish all your Christmas shopping -it kinda disguises some of the excesses of the season. My brother and his wife gave me something wonderful, a sewing box with a combination lock! Actually a toolbox with sewing accessories, since anything labeled “sewing box” is never big enough. Yep, now I will be able to hang on to my scissors and measuring tape for more than a couple of hours.. or at least until the kids crack the combination. Meanwhile, I managed to come home with a supply of cookies, candies, and cakes. I am going to have plenty of treats to share with anyone who comes by without ever baking this year!



The Secret Life of Santa -Not for Children (via Everlasting Blort)

How many days til Christmas?

Kiplinger’s Guide to Holiday Tipping.

Find out when your favorite Christmas movies are on TV at Christmas Crackers.

This kid had an unusual request for Santa, but he came through!

Here’s a little Christmas greeting from me to you. You can make your own at Gnome Yourself, from the folks at The Office. Or of you are looking for something much ruder, try this. (via YesButNoButYes.)

Stormtroopers Arrest Santa!

Holiday Hacks: 12 Radical (and Slightly Naughty) Ways to Stay Productive. Who in their right mind would want to stay productive during the holiday season?

The Five Best TV Commercials of the 2007 Christmas Season. The Oxfam Unwrapped spot is my favorite, for the aww factor.

A roundup of the people who’ve been beating up Santa this year. Yeah, there’s that many.

The real reason for the shortage of Wiis.

Handbell Hero challenges you to play holiday songs on your heyboard with your left hand. Since I’ve never played Guitar Hero, this reminds me of Dance Dance Revolution. If you play well, you get smiling faces. If you don’t, you get frowns, criticism, and your snowman keels over. Hint: start with Jingle Bells, it’s the easiest. (via Metafilter)

The Tale of the Fourteen Christmas Ringers. Besides the tale, there is a music generator that’s even more challenging than Handbell Hero.

Make your own marshmallows! These, combined with homemade hot chocolate mix, make a thoughtful yet inexpensive Christmas gift for someone who doesn’t need any more doodads. (via Unique Daily)

Pull the virtual lever and generate a random but festive holiday message at Holiday-O-Matic. My first one said “May your New Year be relaxing and filled with turducken.” Then you can send your greeting to friends via email. For each message sent, a donation is made to Rotary First Harvest, an organization that connects farmers and food banks. (via The Presurfer)

Tacky Christmas Yards collects and critiques photographs of homes decorated with Christmas lights. “Violations” include mixing themes, lawn characters of different sizes, unharmonious arrangements, multiple Clauses, and overdone lighting.

Several houses in my town would put these to shame, especially the few that put Santa on the roof of the nativity stable. (via The Presurfer)

Sometimes Christmas lawn characters just don’t act they way they should.

The Lindsay Lights.

Five Christmas specials redubbed into something completely different. (some NSFW)

Christmas in Australia (via Phil’s Phun)

Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Child

10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling
7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts
6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed
5. Instead of "naughty" or "nice," Santa has him on the "dork" list
4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee
3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you!"
2. Labels on all your kid's toys and clothes read "Straight from the trash
heap to you"
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"

CHRISTMAS GOLF

Four old-timers were playing their weekly game of golf when one one of them commented on how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed - and without an argument, go directly to the golf course to meet his buddies for 18 holes. All three of his friends unanimously agree, “Let’s do it! We’ll make it a priority, figure out a way and meet here early Christmas morning!”

A few weeks later it’s Christmas morning - and there all are standing next to each other on the first tee box. One friend exclaims “Boy this game cost me a fortune! I had to buy my wife such a huge diamond ring, she can’t even take her eyes off it.” Another friend says, “I spent a ton, too. My wife is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was up to her eyeballs in brochures.” The third friend replies “Well, my wife is at home admiring her new car… reading the manual.” Silence from the fourth guy…

The other three friends in the group look puzzled, while the final guy in the foursome is staring at them like they must have lost their minds. “I can’t believe you all went to such and expense for a round of golf. I just woke up, slapped her on the butt and said, ‘Well babe, Merry Christmas! Golf or sex, what’s it gonna be?” and she said “Take a sweater.”

An Advertising Parable for the Holidays (via YesButNoButYes)

Previously at Miss Cellania: Christmas Links Volume One, Christmas Links Volume Two, Christmas Links Volume Three,  Redneck Christmas, Christmas Decorations, and Sci-Fi Christmas.

Thought for today: Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.  ~P.J. O'Rourke

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