Mermaid or Whale?
Monday, 09.21.09 @ 12:02AM 
Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:
¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?
Just look at them.....where is IT ? Therefore, they don’t have kids either.. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.
So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.
Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am…¨
(Thanks, Liz Z!)
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Reader Comments (13)
"Why "Argentinean psychoanalysts "???? It puzzles me t no end. :S"
Because psychoanalysis is very popular in Argentina (for all walks of life).
http://www.theargentimes.com/socialissues/urbanlife/cult-of-psychoanalysis-in-argentina-something-to-talk-about-/
Before asking questions that may deflect from the original meaning of the post, perhaps consider Google as an unconditional friend.
I would like to point out, however, one minor detail that, though irrelevant to the topic, is important to know. It is not, in fact, the BARREN Sea, but rather the BERING Sea where whales frequent.
Again, thanks for the joy on this lovely Alaskan day!
Made me smile! =)
Way to stand up to nonsense.
I wasn't really thinking literally, but I thought there was some way to, like, SOCIALLY be a whale. I was going to join some pod and swim all the time and eat krill and jump and stuff.
I had high hopes when I was eight.
Seriously, though. This woman has a sense of humor unmatched by any mere mortal.
but there is NO evidence that mermaids DON'T exist. i think they are real, so shoot me.
and plus i have seen beautiful mermaid paintings with full figured gorgeous medieval mermaids, so just because that mermaid in the poster is skinny, dosen't mean there aren't big, beautiful mermaids.
(and as for where their youknowwhat would be, it would be in the same place that female fish have theirs, duh.)
i love whales, but i'd be a magical, full figured mermaid any day.
A response to: "Don't blame men for your body image."
I realise you call yourself a feminist so you may be a little hurt that I'm about to sound off at you about this. So can I recommend you read this post by Hugo Schwyzer before you read mine and certainly before you respond?
http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/05/25/words-are-not-fists-some-thoughts-on-how-men-work-to-defuse-feminist-anger/
Nowhere in this post does it blame "men" for women's body image. This is about advertising and the way in which women are made to feel ugly so people can sell stuff to them! Not how "men" make women feel bad about their bodies. Good grief! Talk about projecting!
What's more, yours is a deeply egocentric and androcentric point of view. This is not about <i>men</i> and whether men want thin or fat women! Women don't only think and feel things in relation to whether they'll be able to get a man or not. They also like to be respected at work and treated well by their neighbours and feel comfortable clothes shopping and eating in public, and all sorts of other things that fat-baiting make less likely. Women exist independently of men and have thoughts and feelings which are nothing to do with man-snagging. (Some are even lesbians, that is real lesbians who don't want to sleep with men, not just porno lesbians.)
However if you want some reason why some women do blame "men" for making women feel bad about their bodies look at these: (I recommend most of the women readers of this post DON'T look at these, none of us needs this trash in our lives.)
http://funmeme.com/?tag=/fat
http://www.motivatedphotos.com/?id=26945
http://www.humorhound.com/2008/10/fat-girl-blending-in-demotivational-poster/
http://www.mrpitt.net/cgi-bin/store/cpshop.cgi/tshirts.ybiaw.229663+no-fat-chicks.html
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897151
http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/FAT-JOKE.html
http://www.digitalbarbarian.com/index.php?/archives/19-Fat-women-suck.html
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/fat_chicks_poster-228942275695108789
http://www.jokeped.com/joke/23/2306/What-does-a-fat-chick-and-a-brick-have-in-common
Do you think things like this are created by women? Maybe but I doubt it. Note how many of them (like you appear to) assume that the most important thing about a woman is whether she is desirable to men.
I'm sorry you feel that way. But trust me when I say this....There's a lot more of the world telling you that you are worthy and beautiful than woman who are any size larger than a 14. I've never been a small girl. Always been athletic and healthy, but not skinny. And I'd give anything to live life for one day like my "skinny" friends, who are adored, bought drinks, and danced with. I'm the friend who ends up holding the purses at the table. For anyone who says I'm bitter, etc etc, I'm definitely not that. I love my skinny friends, as much as I love my size 14 pals. :) I'm college educated, well-rounded, and I've been in a beautiful loving relationship for five years now, and love my life and the way I am.
But to women who are blessed with a beautiful physique... please don't feel un-pretty because someone finally stood up for us women who aren't quite as lucky to have a body that will easily fit in a single digit jean size.