Mermaid or Whale?

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:

¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans).. They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex?

Just look at them.....where is IT ? Therefore, they don’t have kids either.. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am…¨

(Thanks, Liz Z!)

Comments

[alice]

Why "Argentinean psychoanalysts "???? It puzzles me t no end. :S

[KGW]

Great post!

"Why "Argentinean psychoanalysts "???? It puzzles me t no end. :S"


Because psychoanalysis is very popular in Argentina (for all walks of life).

http://www.theargentimes.com/socialissues/urbanlife/cult-of-psychoanalysis-in-argentina-something-to-talk-about-/

Before asking questions that may deflect from the original meaning of the post, perhaps consider Google as an unconditional friend.

[emasaurus]

Bloody brilliant!!! I'd much rather be a whale any day! Their wonderful xxx

[Karis]

Great post! Although I believe that it is important to be healthy, I fully agree with the author of this letter.

I would like to point out, however, one minor detail that, though irrelevant to the topic, is important to know. It is not, in fact, the BARREN Sea, but rather the BERING Sea where whales frequent.

Again, thanks for the joy on this lovely Alaskan day!

[Nikki R.]

This is Beautiful

Made me smile! =)

[Mah-g]

I absolutely love this.
Way to stand up to nonsense.

[Kathleen]

When I was eight and trying to decide what to be when I grew up, I picked whale.

I wasn't really thinking literally, but I thought there was some way to, like, SOCIALLY be a whale. I was going to join some pod and swim all the time and eat krill and jump and stuff.

I had high hopes when I was eight.

[Steph]

I completely respect people who may not have the bodies of super models and think they are gorgeous. But the accumulation of articles like this has made me feel like I, being skinny, am not beautiful.

Seriously, though. This woman has a sense of humor unmatched by any mere mortal.

[cupcake98]

i agree it is great, i think the woman is right.
but there is NO evidence that mermaids DON'T exist. i think they are real, so shoot me.
and plus i have seen beautiful mermaid paintings with full figured gorgeous medieval mermaids, so just because that mermaid in the poster is skinny, dosen't mean there aren't big, beautiful mermaids.
(and as for where their youknowwhat would be, it would be in the same place that female fish have theirs, duh.)
i love whales, but i'd be a magical, full figured mermaid any day.

[mm]

I know a lot of men who like heavy girls. I also know a lot of men who like thin girls. So why all the fuss? Although I happen to like thin girls, I also consider myself a feminist. Does that mean that I've been brainwashed? If you're heavy, be happy! If you're thin, be happy! Don't blame men for your body image.

[Shrugs]

Awesome post. You can betcha they photoshopped the woman who modelled for the mermaid in more ways than just sticking a tail on her too.

A response to: "Don't blame men for your body image."

I realise you call yourself a feminist so you may be a little hurt that I'm about to sound off at you about this. So can I recommend you read this post by Hugo Schwyzer before you read mine and certainly before you respond?

http://hugoschwyzer.net/2006/05/25/words-are-not-fists-some-thoughts-on-how-men-work-to-defuse-feminist-anger/

Nowhere in this post does it blame "men" for women's body image. This is about advertising and the way in which women are made to feel ugly so people can sell stuff to them! Not how "men" make women feel bad about their bodies. Good grief! Talk about projecting!

What's more, yours is a deeply egocentric and androcentric point of view. This is not about <i>men</i> and whether men want thin or fat women! Women don't only think and feel things in relation to whether they'll be able to get a man or not. They also like to be respected at work and treated well by their neighbours and feel comfortable clothes shopping and eating in public, and all sorts of other things that fat-baiting make less likely. Women exist independently of men and have thoughts and feelings which are nothing to do with man-snagging. (Some are even lesbians, that is real lesbians who don't want to sleep with men, not just porno lesbians.)

However if you want some reason why some women do blame "men" for making women feel bad about their bodies look at these: (I recommend most of the women readers of this post DON'T look at these, none of us needs this trash in our lives.)

http://funmeme.com/?tag=/fat

http://www.motivatedphotos.com/?id=26945

http://www.humorhound.com/2008/10/fat-girl-blending-in-demotivational-poster/

http://www.mrpitt.net/cgi-bin/store/cpshop.cgi/tshirts.ybiaw.229663+no-fat-chicks.html

http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897151

http://www.cleanjoke.com/humor/FAT-JOKE.html

http://www.digitalbarbarian.com/index.php?/archives/19-Fat-women-suck.html

http://www.zazzle.co.uk/fat_chicks_poster-228942275695108789

http://www.jokeped.com/joke/23/2306/What-does-a-fat-chick-and-a-brick-have-in-common

Do you think things like this are created by women? Maybe but I doubt it. Note how many of them (like you appear to) assume that the most important thing about a woman is whether she is desirable to men.

[Ivy]

Mermaids lay eggs. DUH.

[kizzywizzy]

Dear skinny person who feels not beautiful...

I'm sorry you feel that way. But trust me when I say this....There's a lot more of the world telling you that you are worthy and beautiful than woman who are any size larger than a 14. I've never been a small girl. Always been athletic and healthy, but not skinny. And I'd give anything to live life for one day like my "skinny" friends, who are adored, bought drinks, and danced with. I'm the friend who ends up holding the purses at the table. For anyone who says I'm bitter, etc etc, I'm definitely not that. I love my skinny friends, as much as I love my size 14 pals. :) I'm college educated, well-rounded, and I've been in a beautiful loving relationship for five years now, and love my life and the way I am.

But to women who are blessed with a beautiful physique... please don't feel un-pretty because someone finally stood up for us women who aren't quite as lucky to have a body that will easily fit in a single digit jean size.

[Judith]

@Shrugs: Thank you so much, you responded to that beautifully and without apologizing, which was excellent.

Awesome post, by the way. I'm so sick of weight being treated as something that is everyone's business.

[Unknown]

while i agree with the idea behind this post and the obviously flawed argument of the gym, I can still not ignore the fact that she is advocating being overweight will bring greater hapinness than being skinny. An obviously redundant argument seeing how being overweight is connected to not only a variety of mental and physical problems but can also cause social problems. While im not advocating that every woman needs to dress in a size 0, I still want to stress that it is important to keep an average weight. Obesity is a serious disease and needs to be counter-acted, as always a healthy middle is the best option.

[Lola]

Uh, no, lady, you're just fat.

[Mermaid]

FUCK FAT PEOPLE, THEY'RE GROSS

[DevilLa23]

I thought I'd throw my own two cents into this discussion. I think comparing what Cupcake said to what the people (men or otherwise) are saying in those links mm posted is insulting. Cupcake's argument may have been androcentric, but his heart was in the right place. He was trying to say that both the smaller and the larger women should try to be happy with their bodies. He was not trying to say that a woman's body image is defined by what men think of them sexually. He did imply it, though, which may speak to a greater ignorance. To his credit, he did acknowledge he may not fully understand feminism. Yet, an accidental androcentric argument is not the same as posting a picture of a large woman in a bikini on a blog and calling it a "joke." The latter is much, much more harmful.

Also, to continue my two cent thoughts, I think that this letter the woman in France wrote was completely detrimental to the feminist ideals. While there's nothing wrong with defending herself and the women the gym was insulting, she took their advertisement, which was designed to prey upon the insecurities of women who may have been watching their weight, and instead used it to the opposite effect: she insulted her fellow woman, the "mermaid," the woman who can't necessarily help her body type anymore than the "whale" women the author of the letter described.

Just as the women the advertisement was targeting were insulted by the advertisement, the smaller women, the "mermaids" now seem to be offended by the letter.

For the record, I didn't know I felt this way about this issue until I read Schwzyer's letter, the links mm posted, the comments on this post and looked up the word "androcentric." I've been reading about feminism for hours, ever since I literally "stumbled upon" this post. I've been interested in feminism for a while, but I've never actually read about it. I just talk about it with friends of mine a lot.

It seems to me that so often feminists are quick to point fingers at one another rather than to fight the real problem: the magazines, the advertisements, the lack of gender equality. As a male who is very interested in feminism and is very pro-feminism myself, it's hard to watch that process occur. As Hugo Schwzyer points out in the link mm posted, men often feel they must diffuse a conversation about feminism with some sort of joke in order to lighten the mood. They say, "You're not going to like me saying this, but I'm going to say it anyway" in some sort of humorous manner. But Schwzyer seems to be pointing out the symptom, not the problem- so often we men feel we are "outside" of feminism, that it doesn't affect us, and when we comment on it, we are somehow infringing on the right of women to discuss their own movement towards equality. I feel that way now as I'm writing. And that feeling is wrong.

I'm commenting as a man, terrified that something within this post will be construed as androcentric. I suppose that's just something that I have to live with within this discussion.


The struggle towards equality is one that effects everyone. The skinny women, the large women, the beer-bellied men like myself, the not-so-beer-bellied men. We're all in this together. The sooner feminists start to work together and men realize they ARE part of the discussion, like it or not, the better.

[DevilLa23]

I just realized, after all I just wrote, I got the names in my post wrong. Please read cupcake as "mm" and mm as "shrugs."

Sorry, everybody. I'd edit it if I knew how.

[yourmom]

being skinny does not mean your healthy... I used to be a really skinny teen and was much more unhealthy than I am not as a fuller bodied 20 year old. and honestly, I don't think men have very much to do with it... women are always competing with each other. women dress for women and undress for men. Be kind to yourself and happy with who you are, eat the right amount of a balanced diet and exercise, and size doesn't matter (I think that could work for women as well as men no?) As long as you take care of yourself, I completely advocate for feeling good about your curves, hell its what makes us women.

[Rox]

"The struggle towards equality is one that effects everyone. The skinny women, the large women, the beer-bellied men like myself, the not-so-beer-bellied men. We're all in this together. The sooner feminists start to work together and men realize they ARE part of the discussion, like it or not, the better." .DevilLa23, that's a great comment.

It is easy for men (and some women) to have their own opinions dismissed, either because they are seen to have no personal experience or as they, themselves are part of the problem. But if we are ever going to be able to reach equality, we need to listen to each other. Agreeably, this can be difficult for those who have experienced discrimination, abuse and low self esteem due to being born female. But being angry with everyone who genuinely wants to make a positive difference only pushes people further apart. And this is probably why I hear people saying "I'm not a feminist, but..." instead of " I am a feminist, and..."

I can understand we are angry with the media telling us we need to become anorexic, and spend all our money on gyms, hair dye, anti aging products and breast implants. I can understand we are angry with the media and toy manufacturers telling our daughters that looking pretty is more important than being smart. Let's not get angry with people who agree with us.

[Wes]

An unhealthy lifestyle is nothing to be celebrated.

[Moi]

Obesity shouldn't be glamorized.

[Pity for the unmotivated]

It is clearly every woman's choice (and man's for that matter) whether or not she takes care of her body but think about the concept that the gym was trying to convey. We do in fact have a choice. There are many things beyond our control but a healthy body and/or weight are well within reach of every human in this world. We have been blessed with only one body but so many of us take that for granted by not exercising and eating healthy. We need to stop judging one another for our current physical status and instead start encouraging and helping in a positive way. As for the French woman - she is hilarious... but I think both Whales and Mermaids would "smell like a fish store" equally.

[Lily]

@Pity for the unmotivated

"There are many things beyond our control but a healthy body and/or weight are well within reach of every human in this world."

I'm truly glad that you are able-bodied enough, have the resources and time, and have a metabolism such that you can fit societal standards of "healthiness" while still having enough time to live your life and chastise people anonymously online. The rest of us would be happy just to not be stigmatized for our appearances, whether they are shaped by lack of motivation, time, money or able-bodiedness.

@Lola, @Mermaid, @Wes, @Moi

Obvious trolls are obvious.

[Lan]

Lets cool the stupid stigma to weight. The poster that this lady commented on was pretty stupid and definitely didn't take into account how it was demonizing weight. "Who wants to be a WHALE?"

But, like some others have posted, obesity isn't something to glorify either. I think the french woman was simply trying to be funny instead of make an activist point so I don't find it particularly bad. The idea that some people may get though is that heavier people are happier and that skinnier people are too busy being skinny to live fulfilling social lives, which is silly. Again, I don't think this was the woman's idea, but it is how some people seem to have interpreted it.

All that said, I do believe it is much easier to maintain a healthy weight than people like to admit. Our common western diet is abysmal and most people are not informed on healthy eating habits. I won't go into this deeply, but if one is a tad heavy and wishes to lose weight, it's very easy to go vegan and watch the weight shed right off in weeks. I wont get on my soapbox, but some people refuse to look into the massive benefits being vegan and harsh penalties of eating a western diet. Simply read up on it, talk to vegan friends visit a local whole foods market. This of course does not apply to all people like those with thyroid problems and such.

[Lan]

It's also worth noting that heart disease and cancer are both heavily instigated by the western diet and the leading cause in death all over the west. My mom survived cancer and my dad nearly died when his aortic valve split from his heart to groin. I'm convinced that if they had a healthier diet both near-fatal situations could be avoided. Heart bypass surgery is becoming routine now in the states to combat the surge of heart diseases our country faces. One may call being vegan "radical," but I'd say risking heart surgery is far more strange.