You know you're from California if...

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember if is pot illegal.

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney… really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember... is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they’ll give you one.

Thought for today: According to the EPA, lead particles in the air in Los Angeles cause six thousand deaths a year. Los Angeles residents call them ‘bullets.’

Previously at Miss Cellania: Similar lists for Colorado, New Jersey, Manitoba, The South, Australia, and  New York City, and more jokes about Texas, Georgia, Washington, DC,  Kentucky, and Kentucky again. And other places.

Comments

[DuhPotAin'tLegalfeathers]

LOL...MissCellania 'splains Califorlornia with one list ;-)

[Shelly]

At least half of this fits NYC, too. :)

[Zeon]

Hey.... is pot illegal??? If you remember let me know... I might migrate to California. He he he...

[D. George]

Californian here.. how are these things not normal? We know things are expensive and different... but have you been to this state? It's beautiful, fun and has the best pot!

[GoFrostfire]

so true, great post

[Sergey K.]

Very nice article!

[L-1]

Classic!!!

[John]

Funny but mostly true. Especially the part about leaving an hour early for work because of weather related accidents.

[Jason M]

Way to play to the ignorant, judgmental crowd. I'm surprised you couldn't of more stereotypes to add to your list. This post is deplorable in a lame-email-your-coworker-forwarded way.

[Mike T.]

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hella.

[US doesnt deserve CA]

Well this is gay and racist.

[Californian]

Pretty true, sadly...

[Pj]

Well, way to be a short sighted, racist, bigoted, homophobic bitch, bitch.

[ultravioletmars]

Looks like a list created by somebody who wasn't born here, but moved here from somewhere else. (prob. east coast)

[monkey]

are you serious jason m? deplorable, really??? i'll bet you're a blast at parties!

[monkey]

oh, and to the rest of you complainers...lighten the hell up. homophobic and racist? are you freaking nuts? seems like some people love to call others homophobic and racist just to show how homophobic and racist they AREN'T. man, save it for the stuff that matters. don't dilute those very serious claims for things like this or nobody will listen to you when you say it for a real cause...you're just making yourselves look really ignorant, oooh, as does the name calling. hey everybody, look at ME, i found somebody being 'bad' and i pointed it out! btw, i'm a native californian...big deal.

[Californian]

Say what you want about California, most people are just jelious wishing they lived here. California with it's miles of coastline, deserts, mountains and forests has practically every environment you could wish to live in or just vacation in.
California has the fifth largest economy in the world, YES THE WORLD! Not to mention that it is home to most of the leading edge technoledgy industries in the country.
So while "Miss Cellania" is from KENTUCKY, the state that puts warning labels on its science books! I'm perfectly happy to let others bask in their stupidity while I'm basking in the California sun.

[Miss Cellania]

You're new here, aren't you?

[Brother Bill]

You over sensitive Californians are proving the gist of this post.

[JeramiahEcks]

You call that raciest? Come down south and we will show you raciest..... Grow some balls and laugh once in awhile you uptight cock sucking rope sucking spic! Now thats funny!

[this is from facebook]

list comes from: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2210339724#/group.php?gid=2211572727

[Miss Cellania]

No it doesn't. I got it from Blogthings a couple years ago when they had stuff like this. I avoid Facebook like the plague. And the list you linked doesn't have the same things in it.

[TheCoast]

so....Whats wrong with what those two guys in the picture are wearing? I dont get it........

[DemonicAngel]

Since when are Californians a race?

[Dave]

Great post. Nothing like actual original, thoughtful content, huh? Just more proof that "blogging" is one of those things where many are called but few are chosen. Guess which one you are?

[Operator-C]

Ahh, poor Dave. Are you having trouble finding entertainment on the internet? Poor baby.

[B-Dog]

Wow. The word "racist" didn't enter my mind as I read this list. There were two comments, one about the bus, and the other about licenses that made a reference to real situations in CA. And as for the "homophobic" part, where is there any reference to homosexuality. I mean, it is true that Cali has one of the highest concentrations of gays in the world, and San Francisco has to be at the top, but the majority of Cali voters support gay rights. Actually, I didn't see anything that looked false about this truly amazing state (the insurance thing was a bit exaggerated, I'd say).

So, relax, will ya'll? If you don't find it funny, just go away.

Nice post.

[hmbterry]

You left off the one that says; You know your from California if you know how to eat an artichoke.

[woofer]

You mean you're supposed to EAT an artichoke ???

[Bobnormal]

Racist?Homophobic? where? Miss,that was quite hilarious,mostly because it's true,the trolls out there probably aren't even from Cali,BUT I AM! so I have Absolute Moral Authority on the subject(LOL)Great place to live,Your all jealous,and I don't eat artichokes,
Greetings from the Badlands,
Bob

[chantix]

haha wait so how do California-ins/ites (hehe) eat artichokes?

[Jarrod]

"20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they’ll give you one."

Uhh, last time i checked, people who are here illegaly weren't allowed to drive.

[llama0879]

Not only is our homegrown pot the best, what you guys all get is our sub par stuff...

[Dan]

Some accurate, a lot not. I'm born and raised Californian and am currently in the military so I've seen pretty much everywhere, and you are way off on some of these. The weather? Not even close, unlike most states, Californians don't freak out and drive 5 mph when it "sprinkles." This is obvouisouly written by someone who either has no idea, or has a personal problem with the state like a lot of ignorant people do.

[A Californian]

Homophobia refers to people who are afraid of (hates) homosexual people and/or their lifestyle.

This list mentions homosexual behavior, but nowhere does it undermine this behavior. How in the world is this homophobic?

Simply mentioning the fact that someone is homosexual is in no way related to judging them. If I was to say "Oh my friend is an african american". Would that be racist? No, it is simply stating a fact.

Mentioning homosexual behavior is in no way more bigotic than saying "Oh this is an eraser, oh that is a cell phone"

The true homophobes are the people who get upset and cry "PREJUDICE" every time anyone even mentions homosexual behavior. If you are so afraid of people talking about homosexuals, wouldn't that make YOU the homophobe, not the person mentioning homosexuals?

Seriously...

[Debbie]

This just makes me want to move to California even more. Except # 20. We have that in Miami too :(

[bob]

sounds like dallas without the terminator. 'course that is still better than Ricardo Perez.

[Wonderlandslost]

Haha, that was funny.
Growing up in Cali, I know that most is...exaggerated, yet it's still funny to read.

And going through the other comments; people overreact for the simplest things!

[CA Native]

I'm Californian born and bred, never lived anywhere else. A lot of things on the list are true, but don't judge the entire population by what you see on TV. Pot is not legal, without a prescription, I have yet to see a schoolteacher with purple hair. I have seen movie and TV stars going about their personal business on rare trips to Los Angeles, and our governor is The Terminator, but I was homeless during that election, so I couldn't vote for him or against him, so don't blame me.
BTW, I didn't see any references to homosexuality in the list, so what was so homophobic about it? Same-sex marriage is legal at the moment, and I'm fighting to keep it that way, and I look forward to the rest of the country following suit.

[Josh]

How is this racist you retards?

[Galdon]

You forgot about "If you suffer from annual fires but find them unimportant compared to linking every household item as a cause for cancer"

[two feet to teh left]

I have another one:

If a car has three pedals, you assume the owner os from out of state

[Gabrielle]

HA i love the part about the sprinkling rain & "STORM WATCH"

[Lee]

Have you guys been to NC lately? Stealing all of the tech business from CA, better housing market, huge film scene, lovely economy, superb beaches, hot women, center of the medical universe, center of the research universe, CLEAN AIR, diverse population, plenty of weed, no fk'n deserts...etc. Come play for a while. You'll see how stupid you look bragging about California, and its ugly, run down, hard to breathe ookyness.

Get with the plan, folks. It's all about the east coast now. But, I'm sure you're too caught up in your smoggy sunsets and the beautiful streets of Oakland in the night time to see the truth. lol. FAIL.

[Phantom Lord]

Did anyone notice the two guys in the picture? One of them is Commander Spock.

[David]

You know - with the possible exception of George Clooney, EVERY ONE of these sounds EXACTLY like London, where i live. And that includes the clothes in the picture! And hmmm - we may not have THE Terminator as governor, but we certainly have A Terminator in charge *gratuitous political snipe!*. . .

We also know how to eat artichokes!

[disneygirl]

ofcourse you guys dont think its racist cuz you guys dont live in a place with many races. whats so bad about living next to mexicans? and ive never EVER seen a teacher with a piercing. and NEVER has there been a plyaground with kids on their cells. lmao. pagers?! no one uses that shit anymore. well at least in the golden state... not the cheese state or the garden state.. the GOLDEN state