There were lots of running jokes in the three seasons of Star Trek, TOS (The Original Series). One was how Captain Kirk managed to find romance with every female alien the Enterprise came across. The entire affair was resolved in an hour. Then he was free for the next conquest next week. Star Trek: TNG (The Next Generation) and the newer series allowed the regular characters to pair up and have long drawn-out relationships; Picard and Crusher, Riker and Troi, Data and that tough blonde who quit after the first season... what was her name? For comedic purposes, Captain Kirk and his promiscuous ways are more fun.



Kissing Kirk

Captain Kirk’s romances. It’s a long list.

What kind of lover is Captain Kirk? Obviously a good one.

Time to nip this "Kirk got laid every week" nonsense in the bud. An episode-by-episode list detailing whether Kirk got lucky.

Captain Kirk’s Guide to Women. The definitive book.

Spock’s Guide to Women. A shorter and less expensive book.

Star Trek: TNG and The Love Boat. More eerie similarities than you can shake a stick at.

Lots of Star Trek romantic fan fiction.

Star Trek’s Greatest Couples.

Captain Kirk vs. Han Solo. Let's just compare resumes here. Kirk routinely defeats gods, thumped the Klingon Empire so badly that a hundred years later it's being all but run by a bald Frenchman, and has scored with more women than Hugh Hefner and Wilt Chamberlain combined. By contrast, the toughest opponent Solo has ever defeated have been stormtroopers, he managed to get himself captured in every movie (including one memorable incident where he was captured by Ewoks and another where he had to be rescued by the same), and needed three movies to score with a single woman when the only competition for her was her brother.

Flickr user Marcello Poletti posted a set of stills from Star Trek (the original series) featuring the beautiful women of the series. There are 81 photos so far. (via Dump Trumpet)

The Women of Star Trek.

How Star Trek handled the idea of gay relationships. Fan fiction, on the other hand, just jumped right in.

William Shatner talks about being Captain Kirk, and tells some stories you haven’t heard before.

Captain Kirk’s Bulging Trousers.

Star Trek Sex

You’ll find a couple more compilations full of innuendo and double entendres here. Possibly NSFW.

Captain Kirk on Women

(via Memory Alpha)
"You're too beautiful to ignore. Too much woman." (TOS: "The Enemy Within")

"When I get my hands on the headquarters genius who gave me a female yeoman..." (TOS: "The Corbomite Maneuver")

"Uh, there are things you can do with a lady, uh, Charlie, that you... Uh, there's no right way to hit a woman. I mean, man to man is one thing, but, um, man and woman, uh, it's, ah... is, uh... Well, it's, ah, another thing. Do you understand?" (TOS: "Charlie X")

"Worlds may change, galaxies disintegrate, but a woman... always remains a woman." (TOS: "The Conscience of the King")

"You'll learn something about men and women... the way they're supposed to be. Caring for each other, being happy with each other, being good to each other. That's what we call... love. You'll like that too. A lot." (TOS: "The Apple")

"Mr. Spock, on your planet the women are logical. Yours is the only planet in the universe that can make that claim." (TOS: "Elaan of Troyius")

The Top 15 Science Fiction Geek Pickup Lines

15. "Someone must have shot you with a phaser set on 'stunning.'"

14. "I can't help it -- my eyes are trapped in the gravitational field of your breasts!!"

13. "Nice Asimov."

12. "Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody."

11. "W-w-w-w-w-wo-would y-y-y-y-you g-g-g-g-go o-o-out w-w-w-w... ah, screw it."

10. "Is that Shai-Hulud, the life-giving spice-producing god-worm in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

9. "Earth woman, prepare to be probed!"

8. "Forgive my Kirk-like boldness, but you wanna go back to my mom's place and watch 'Dr. Who'?"

7. "How 'bout I slip into something more comfortable... like these STAR TREK VOYAGER pajamas!"

6. "I'm the droid you're looking for."

5. "Is that a spare Vulcan ear in your pocket or... well, I'm just asking because some jerk in the parking lot pulled off one of my Vulcan ears."

4. "Hey, baby. I own Microsoft."

3. "Your mouth says, 'Shields up!', but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is imminent.'"

2. "I sense something... a presence I've not felt since I saw you bend over the registration table."

1. "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you watch me masturbate while I download pictures of Jeri Ryan?"

Previously at Miss Cellania: more Star Trek posts.

Thought for today: Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed -- but a woman is always a woman. -Captain James T. Kirk

Hey! I got through this entire post without mentioning the Captain's Log! 

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