Most of us have a few drinking stories in our past. Sometimes they are hard to recall the day after, but they come back to us little by little, either in our memories or in stories told by witnesses. It can be pretty embarrassing to hear your own adventures for the first time through the eyes of someone else. But we get over the shock and memorize the stories, even if we never gain any firsthand memories. We brag on them to some and hide them from others. Then when we have children, and we pretend they didn’t happen. Later, when the kids are grown, we try desperately to remember them well enough to tell them. Or we just try to relive the memories without the hangovers. You know the rule, everything in moderation. But moderation is often the first thing to go, after just one or two drinks.   



The Alcohol Philosophy Song

5 Drinking Stories That Put Yours To Shame.

The Drunkest Generation: 10 Reasons Your Grandpa Could Drink You Under the Table. Of course, they’re not referring to your grandpa, but the culture that made it seem like he could’ve. It’s a look back at the days when drunkenness was considered not only socially acceptable, but even entertaining!

Beer is good.

The epic story of how vodka became vodak at Fark. With pictures.

Liquor Store Archaeology. A scavenger hunt of sorts for the strangest drinks turns up peanut-flavored liqueur, Armenian brandy, and and even rarer finds.

Alcohol Horoscopes.

BARTENDER

A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that and hands the man a bill for $57.00. The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.

The very next day the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt, pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself and hands the drunk a bill for $67.00.

The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink, give me the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "You? No way! You get too violent when you drink."

LATE

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?"

"There is." he replied, "Breakfast."

SHOTS

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.

"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.

"6 shots? Are you celebrating something?"

“Yeah, my first blowjob."

"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."

"No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

Party in the Stomach (via Man Law)

Previously at Miss Cellania: Lots more posts on Drinking.

Thought for today: Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough. -Mark Twain

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