Princess asked for French toast for breakfast. Three minutes later, I handed her a plate and said, “Tis is the most perfect piece of French toast ever.” She asked why, and I said, “The egg blended perfectly without sloshing out of the dish. The bread soaked it up evenly. The pan was already at the perfect temperature to fry it evenly: a bit crisp on the outside, but not all the way through. The pizza cutter sliced perfect squares. Enjoy it, because you’ll never have another piece of French toast like this one.” And she relished every bite! It really wasn’t so different from any other toast I’ve made, but the promotion made it seem special. Now she’s trying to perfect her technique and match my accomplishment. That’s fine with me -anything to get her to make her own breakfast!



Pancakes II: Pancakes for Your Face

Another delicious stop-motion breakfast video from James Provan, who brought you Pancakes in 2006.

The natural progression of American restaurant breakfasts. Denny's Introduces 'Just A Humongous Bucket Of Eggs And Meat' (via J-Walk Blog)

Breakfast tragedy.

News flash: Cutting out breakfast will not help you lose weight, In fact, the opposite is true. (via Neatorama)

Breakfast Tattoos.

Where to get the best breakfasts in America. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, none of the 15 are in my hometown.

The butter-substitute product I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter was a funny enough name, but as the product caught on, knockoffs followed. In order to piggyback on the original product’s fame, these other spreads have to have a name that is somewhat similar. Some turned out just plain silly, like Unbelievable This is Not Butter. See more at Required Eating. (via Grow-A-Brain)

The Useless Men tells us everything they know about toast.

The Ladies Brunch Burger. It’s got a hamburger patty, bacon, eggs, and a donut bun. From Paula Dean, of course.

The world’s most unhealthy breakfast.

AWFUL BREAKFAST

One morning in a posh hotel breakfast room, a guest called over the head waiter.

"Good morning, sir! I'd like to order two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked that it's runny, and the other so overcooked that it's tough. I also want some rubbery bacon, burnt toast, and butter that's so cold it's impossible to spread. Finally, I'll have a pot of extra-weak coffee, served at room temperature."

The bewildered waiter almost stuttered. "Sir! We cannot serve such an awful breakfast to you here!"

"Why not?" the guest replied. "That's what I got here yesterday!"

FIFTY YEARS

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They weresitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say... should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

Breakfast with the Arts (Thanks, Chris!)

Previously at Miss Cellania: Breakfast, Breakfast 2, and Pancakes for Breakfast.

Thought for today: Life is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have a half a one for breakfast. -Douglas Adams

humor jokes video funny food breakfast morning bacon eggs toast cereal pancakes