It’s amazing how much I’m learning in my old age just from hanging around on the internet, where people can say what they want without repercussion. I had no idea so many men equate marriage and prostitution! The way they see it, everything is a tradeoff. A prostitute trades sex for cash, and brides trade sex for financial security. What a surprise! I’ve certainly never married for financial security. I wouldn’t know financial security if it walked up and bit me in the butt. From my experience, husbands cost more than they are worth in dollar amounts. I thought the average woman married for a steady supply of sex, just like men do! Apparently, I’ve been doing it wrong all these years.



Streetwalker Prank

Project Prostitute. The site owner asked different people to draw a prostitute. Then he asked more and more people. The submissions display a great range of viewpoints. You can draw a prostitute and submit yours, too! NSFW. (via Dump Trumpet)

Smiling Bob’s Prostitute Emporium.

How much are you worth in bed? Click my result below to take the quiz. But keep in mind, in a free market, something is worth exactly what someone else is willing to pay for it. Which makes my score completely ludicrous! That's ludicrous, not lucrative.

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6 Creepy Mail Order Bride Sites.

Widow sues prostitutes for £1million after wealthy businessman husband dies in sex romp. Maybe they should consider liability insurance. (via Arbroath)

Some advertisers consider all women to be prostitutes, and I’m sick of it.

A guy picks up a five-dollar hooker and gets the crabs from her. Seeing her the following week, he confronts her and says,

"You gave me the crabs!"

She replies, "What did you expect for five bucks, lobster?"

PRICING

(Thanks, Rich!)
Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "All I got is thirty".

She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"

"A hand job," Harry replied.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty bucks is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE length. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back to Harry. 'What's wrong?' he asks,

"Any chance you could lend this guy seventy bucks?!

IN COURT

(Thanks, Rich!)
The Judge asked the prostitute, "Tell the court when you realized you had been raped".

The Prostitute replied, wiping her tears, "When his check bounced."

A CONFUSING SIGN

(via Big Shot Bob in Texas)
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought. Soon he sees another sign which reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and I was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, SINNER!

Thought for today: The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for love is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.  -Fred Barling

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