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« Prostitution | Main | Batman »
Tuesday
Apr152008

Income Tax

Today is the day US citizens must have their federal (and sometimes state) income tax returns in the mail (or filed electronically). Oh yes, mail it late and you'll be liable for penalties and interest. The alternative is to file for an extension, but you have to have that in the mail on time, too! In some cities, Post Offices stay open late on deadline day, in some places until midnight, to accommodate late filers. Not so in small towns! I used to work for a radio station that would set up a party at the Post Office from, say, ten til midnight, with coffee, donuts, and t-shirts for the last stragglers to get their forms in. We heard some pretty funny stories about why it took so long to get the forms finished! Too bad I don't remember any of them.

My actual income tax bill wasn't so bad, because I didn't make much money (despite the rumors that bloggers make money), but the self-employment tax, the local occupational tax, and the 2008 quarterly withholding took a bite out of my tiny little retirement fund.

Turbo Tax Rap

This video won second place in the Turbo Tax video contest last year. The winning video was good, but it wasn’t funny enough for me.

Happy Tax Day! (flash cartoon, Uncle Sam as a stripper)

The American Taxpayer in photographic art.

Income Tax Song.

The IRS candy bar. So you can bite back!

2007 Federal Tax Law Changes. It happens every year, just to keep us all on our toes.

What Won’t They Tax?

9 Big Names Who Lived Above the (Tax) Law.












Take a look at were your tax money goes. The large version of this ^ artwork by mibi entitled Death and Taxes is available for sale, too.

Some tax preparation services go all out just to get your attention.

Its a stretch putting this here, but its the story of an interesting Tax Sale in 1996.

Mike Ashley has a whole slew of "taxing" proverbs and one-liners at It Occurred to Me.

IN LINE
In a long line of people waiting for a bank teller, one guy suddenly started massaging the back of the person in front of him. Surprised, the man in front turned and snarled, "Just what the hell you are doing?"

"Well," said the guy, "you see, I'm a chiropractor and I could tell that you were tense, so I thought I'd massage your back"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" the guy replied. "I work for the IRS. Do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?"

THE QUARTER

A man is in a coffee shop with his son. He lays his change on the table and the little boy starts to play with it. The son puts a quarter in his mouth, which becomes lodged in his throat. He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged, fairly unremarkable man in a gray suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds his newspaper and places it on the counter. He gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the market. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but only just) the man takes hold of the kid and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy coughs up the quarter, which the man catches in his free hand.

The man then walks back to his seat in the coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son was fine, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him. The man looks embarrassed and brushes off the thanks. As he's about to leave, the father asks one last question. "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before - it was fantastic - what are you, a surgeon or something like that?"

"No" the man replies, "I work for the IRS, getting people to cough it up is my business.

* I R S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Thought for today: Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

This post originally appeared on April 15th, 2006, which is why some of the comments won't make any sense.

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Reader Comments (10)

Erm. Um. Miss C., straight from the IRS website:

"Tax Deadline Approaching
Taxpayers in most of the country will have until Monday, April 17 to file and pay, because the 15th falls on Saturday. Due to the Patriots Day holiday, residents of Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont and the District of Columbia will have until Tuesday, April 18. Individual and business taxpayers in the parishes and counties most severely damaged by Hurricane Katrina have until August 28."
04.15.06 @ 02:14AM | Unregistered CommenterKate
I also got mine done in Feb. Don't you think most of those that are going to be sent in this weekend are those who have to pay more money? I would be sending mine now if I hadn't had a refund coming back.
04.15.06 @ 11:53AM | Unregistered CommenterDick
What's a four letter word that isn't four letters? *TOING* yup...taxes.

Historically speaking, the blood-sucking tendency of the IRS is grotesquely apparent with their selection of April 15 as their normal "Sign Ze Papers Now, Pig" day. Note:

Abraham Lincoln died of his wounds received at Ford's Theatre on the morning of April 15, 1865.

The HMS Titanic sank on the morning of April 15, 1912, a few hours after the collision with/torpedoeing by the iceberg/alien U-boat (if you buy into The Weekly World News version)

The Ford Pinto was invented on April 15, 1970....the fact its gas tank was prone to exploding was noted on April 15, the next year (okay, so I sorta made that up).

At any rate, go figger ;-)


'Skunk'
04.15.06 @ 02:53PM | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous
In Canada the deadline is April 30th. Thank goodness.. cause I have yet to tackle mine.
04.15.06 @ 03:24PM | Unregistered CommenterSimply Coll
My refund has also been spent and long gone...laughed at the Uncle Sam stripper!
04.15.06 @ 05:10PM | Unregistered Commenterjules
Hey, Missy, thanks. I got through ALL the links today. I am SO thrilled.
04.15.06 @ 07:27PM | Unregistered CommenterOldHorsetailSnake
Nice post, Miss C. A timely one too. My tax refund went already to pay off the home-heating oil bill for past winter. (Sigh) Easy come- easy go!
...Like Jules, I too got a kick out of Uncle Sam stripping.
04.15.06 @ 07:43PM | Unregistered CommenterHale McKay
I just got 04 05 done and can get the new financial year done next month, I love this country. (Touch wood I have not been audited yet!)
04.15.06 @ 10:04PM | Unregistered CommenterEvan
There is no law that requires any American citizen to pay income tax.

http://www.masternewmedia.org/news/2007/04/21/the_us_income_tax_fraud.htm
04.15.08 @ 02:41AM | Unregistered CommenterCupcake
There is an unwritten law that says you pay or life can be made accountable,over&over&over,,
04.15.08 @ 10:22AM | Unregistered Commenterdoc dad

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