If it weren’t for flight training in the armed forces, we probably wouldn’t have pilots for the commercial airlines I post about so often. We may not have had any astronauts for the Mercury or Apollo missions, either. And we wouldn’t have Top Gun, either! Military pilots are the real cowboys of the modern world. There’s a reason Chuck Yeager was included in the collage I made for the Manly Men post. It takes a lot of balls to break the sound barrier, or fly deep into enemy territory, or land on an aircraft carrier. Aircraft carriers may look big, but don’t compare them to boats. Compare then to airport runways, and that’s when you realize how tiny they are! Anyone who’s ever had to land on one gets my respect automatically.   



Air Drops

To operate in the world of the military pilot, you have to understand the language. Here’s a glossary of definitions, lies, and universal truths.

How To Hide An Airplane Factory.

A century of helicopters, in pictures.

I have a message for you, and I got the Royal Navy to deliver it. You can have them deliver a message for you, too! (via The Presurfer)

Can you make an aircraft carrier out of an iceberg? It’s been considered!

PRESSURE

(via Phil’s Phun)
During a commercial airline flight a Navy pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related paraphernalia.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded,"Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said nursing would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Navy pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed,

Landing Clearance

The military pilot called for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked."

Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.

"Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."

Telling Time

(Thanks, Rich!)
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"

The tower responded, "Who is calling?"

The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"

The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to 'Happy Hour.' "

THE RETIREE

(via Phil’s Phun)
Tom was in his early 50s, retired and started a second  career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time.

Every day, he was five, 10, 15 minutes late. But, he was a good worker and real sharp, so the boss  was in a quandary about how to deal with it.

Finally, one day he called Tom into his office for a talk. "Tom, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic. You do a bang- up job, but your being late so often is quite  bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there"?

"They said, 'Good morning, General.'"

Previously at Miss Cellania: Military and Tanks for the Memories

Thought for today: The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.

humor jokes video funny games Air Force military pilots airplanes jets