Porcupine or Hedgehog
Thursday, 03.13.08 @ 12:06AM 
I started writing about porcupines because of the overly cute photo to the left of baby porcupines. I soon found out that porcupines are much more of a joke subject in England than in the US. Apparently on the other side of the pond, hedgehogs are famous roadkill, somewhat in the way we regard possums. We Yanks really don't care who hogs our hedges. A Pork-You-Pine is sorta like a pig with pine needles, see? Always go with the overly simplistic. And we avoid porcupines as much as possible, while the British will even adopt a hedgehog. Then, since I wrote this intro a couple of years ago, I found out that hedgehogs and porcupines aren't even related!
Baby Porcupine Eats Bananas
Anyway, the jokes I found were all British, a little hard for Americans to understand. I consulted Wulfweard the White (who knows everything) about hedgehogs. So please read the following with a British accent:
St Tiggy-winkles is an animal sanctuary in Britain originally set up to care for sick hedgehogs by now diversified to treat other animals
Mrs Tiggy-winkle is a character from Beatrix Potter books on Peter Rabbit
Hedgehogs are used in Britain in teaching road safety (mainly due to the fact they normally end up under car wheels) 
I wrote a poem for my kids about a hedgehog.
Hedgehog flat upon the road
never made his safe abode
crossed without a left or right
dazzled by a car headlight
his rolling up into a ball
didn't help old 'hedge' at all
bristles tough as bits of wire
flattened by a rubber tyre
Hedgehog flat upon the road
should have known his highway code
The people of Britain love Hedgehogs in the garden as they keep down slugs and snails. They have a habit of attacking rubbish bags (garbage) and make strange honking noises when mating (normally on my front lawn outside my bedroom).
On occasions we have albino hedgehogs.
How do hedgehogs make love - very carefully! -Prydwen
How can a person
Love a porcupine?
If you would know love,
Put away your quills. -Ed Bremson, The Tao of Love
| You Were a Porcupine |
 You have created your own path in life, and you encourage others to do the same. Even as life progresses, you always maintain a sense of wonder and innocence. |
Everything you ever needed to know about porcupines can be found at Hoglets.com.
What is a Porcupine Tree?
Bad porcupine joke.
Everyone deserves a hug, even a porcupine.
What a porcupine can do to a dog. Pictures may be disturbing. I also found the story of a less serious attack.
Beware the giant hog at Hedgehog Central!
Uni the Hedgehog
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?A. To see his flat-mate.
Q. Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
A. To show he had guts.
Q. Why couldn't the hedgehog wash his hair?
A. Because he'd left his head and shoulders on the road.
HENRY'S LESSON
Henry Hedgehog was six months old ; it was time for his first road safety lesson.At midnight Mr and Mrs Hedgehog took him to the nearby A77 Glasgow to Kilmarnock road.
"Right," said Mr Hedgehog, "walk across the road as swiftly as you can. But keep an eye out for headlights."
"What do I do if I see headlights?" asked young Henry.
"You must sit perfectly still in the middle of the lane," instructed Mr Hedgehog. "That way the wheels go on either side of you."
Mr Hedgehog demonstrated this several times then told Henry it was his turn.
Nervously Henry scurried across the road. As he reached the far lane bright lines came rushing towards him. Henry did exactly as he was told and froze in the middle of the lane.
There came a screeching of brakes and a dreadful squelching noise.
"Darn!" said Mr Hedgehog, "When was the last time you saw a Reliant Robin on this road?"
(Yank alert: I believe this is a three-wheel vehicle)
Thought for today: If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves, come down again when they feel better -Douglas Adams
This post originally appeared on March 14, 2006. I apologize for so many reruns. If anyone would like to guest post here at Miss Cellania, please email me!
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Reader Comments (15)
My friend in England has a hedgehog house in her garden to house them for the winter. Cute little fellas.
Have a great day!
If you really want to know, better go back and look. (I utterly FAILED to give you credit the first time through. Thanks for the reminder, princess.)
a porcupine is my spirit animal or totem animal...
Apparantly I was a praying mantis in a previous life ... guess it's better than a cockroach. :)
Apparently the travellers say they taste ok, if wrapped in mud and baked (the mud helps the quills come off)
I heard that once upon a time, for a very brief period, Walkers crisps market tested hedgehog flavour crisps (potato chips) in Wales, when there were a lot of Romanies and new-agers over there.
Why were they there? Some, allegedly, because the rolling hills and very damp soil are an excellent breeding ground for magic mushrooms and hallucinogenic toadstools.....
I'm a spirit porcupine too!
Allthe pricks are on the outside of the porcupine...
;-)
We soon found a better home for her.
Love the porcupine baby eating bananas!!! Awwww
The hedgehog video has Sonic the Hedgehog music. Cute.