As many jokes as I make about men, I still think they are wonderful. Not perfect, of course, but what fun would a perfect man be? Well, maybe a lot, but it’s no fun waiting your whole life to find out whether he exists or not. There’s certainly nothing wrong with being manly. But what makes a man manly depends on who you ask. If you ask me (which of course, no one did), it has nothing to do with your muscles, or your bank account, or the number of women you’ve banged. The most awesomely manly man is the one who feels no need to prove his manliness to the world; he just lives it. He excels without tearing down others. He takes life by the horns. He doesn’t classify everything as “cool” or “not cool”. He looks you in the eye and doesn’t play games. He knows some things are more important than others. Find a man like that, and you’d better hang onto him!



MANtage

The Art of Manliness. More than a parody site (although its funny enough), this has some real-life advice on reali-life things. (via the Presurfer)

Cracked has ranked the Ten Manliest Names in the world. I thought Guy Mann-Dude couldn’t be beat, but that’s just a gender trifecta with no real testosterone. And probably not the name he was born with. No, these ten guys are all very real, and sport very manly monikers.

Brazilian soccer players show us the manly way to donate blood.

The Manliest Drinks in the World. (via the Presurfer)

A glimpse at the world of truly manly men.

Some of the biggest male stars you know have really girly middle names. Take the quiz and see if you know who they are. What were their parents thinking?

The manly way to fish.

Understanding Men (via Bits and Pieces)

ASSERTING HIMSELF

(via Phil’s Phun)
A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House."

He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law! You are going to make me a delicious dinner and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs and we are going to have the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my guess."

If Men Ruled the World

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

Birth control would come in ale or lager.

You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."

Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.

The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

"Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

Garbage would take itself out.

Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

"Cops" would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.)

The only show opposite "Monday Night Football" would be "Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle."

Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

WEDDING NIGHT

A knockout young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12-inch erection, and he was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The old man replied, "There are just two things I can't stand - The sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"

Louis Favreau's Love Songs of the Real Man (via Locusts & Honey)

Previously at Miss Cellania: Manliness, Men, Male Anatomy, Male Sexuality, Mr. Right, and the Mars and Venus series.

Thought for today: It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men.  ~Mae West

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