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« Manly Men | Main | Redneck Engineering Exam »
Monday
Feb182008

Presidents Day

Presidents Day is a holiday shrouded in mystery. Ha! That’s overstating it a bit, but people are confused about what we are celebrating. When I was growing up, we celebrated Washington’s birthday and Lincoln’s birthday in February, but we didn’t get either day off from school and we used the days to learn about the two presidents. Washington’s Birthday has been a federal holiday since 1885, although it was celebrated since his presidency. Lincoln’s birthday was never an official federal holiday, but has been a recognized holiday in some states for a long time. In 1968, the federal government moved Washington’s Birthday to the third Monday in February, as part of the Monday Holidays Act. Of course, this made no sense because birthdays don’t float. So people started calling it Presidents Day. Most states adopted the new Washington’s Birthday holiday, while other states recognize it as Presidents Day. Fans of other presidents jumped on the bandwagon to recognize all presidents, but that was not the original intent.  



Presidents Day Song -Jimmy Fallon

The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time. Number one does not surprise me at all. (via Metafilter)

Presidential Oddities. A strange and wonderful piece of trivia about each president!

Ten Reasons why Teddy Roosevelt is the Coolest President Ever. There’s a lot more reasons in the comments of this article.

LOLpresidents. My favorite is Teddy Roosevelt.

The original inspiration thread has much ruder images.

What George Washington really looked like. (via Neatorama)

Randall Munroe from xkcd took George Washington’s Farewell Address of 1796 and painstakingly translated each point into 21st century American English. The results are amazingly easy to read and understand.

If you think you are so smart, try this quiz on presidential middle names. It ain’t easy! The quiz on presidential nicknames is a lot easier.

America’s Ten Horniest Presidents.

Five Amazing Facts About Franklin Pierce.

9 Little-Known Facts about Honest Abe.

What if President Lincoln were a modern CEO? Then his Gettysburg Address would be given as a Powerpoint presentation.

Peter Norvig shows us what it might have looked like.

THE OUTHOUSE

When Harry was a young boy in Louisiana, he was always getting into trouble. One morning while waiting for the school bus, he pushed the outhouse into the bayou and went off for school as if nothing had happened.

When he returned, his father was waiting for him. He said, "Son, did you push the outhouse into the bayou?"

"Yes, father," said Harry, "like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie."

Harry's father took off his belt and said, "All right, son, bend over. I'm going to have to whip you."

Harry tried to explain that Mr. Washington didn't spank George when he admitted chopping down the cherry tree.

"Yes, son," said Harry's father, "but George's father wasn't in the tree."

THE JOB INTERVIEW

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

President Taft was Fat

While he was in the Philippines, disturbing reports about his health caused Secretary of War Root to send a cabled inquiry. Taft cabled back that he was perfectly all right -- he had just finished a twenty-five-mile horseback ride and was feeling fine. Root read that, smiled, and sent off another cable of solicitude: 'How is horse?'

Justice Brewer of the Supreme Court said that 'Taft is the politest man in Washington; the other day he gave up his seat in a street-car to three ladies.'

After Taft lost the election of 1912, Yale University sent a man to the White House to suggest that Taft accept a Chair of Law at the University. Taft replied that a Chair would not be adequate, but that if the University would provide a Sofa of Law, "it might be all right."

More stories about Taft and his weight problem here.

THE GRAVEYARD

Three brothers Neil, Jeb and Dub, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here", says Neil, "It's Obidiah Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Jeb, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Dub yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!"

"What was his name?" asks Neil.

Dub lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Austin."

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Thought for today: President's Day is when we celebrate the presidents that are worth celebrating. Today's sermon will quote both of them. - Kevin McGhee

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Reader Comments (4)

Yawp...Teddy was kewl. Taft was larger than wife. Or any other gal pal, for that manner. Someone tell Dubya that it's an ear of corn, not a 'nana.

What are we celebrating again?
02.18.08 @ 05:14AM | Unregistered CommenterPresidentialFeathers
Ms. C ~ Some really funny stuff here. Happy Presidents' Day! ~ jb///
02.18.08 @ 01:39PM | Unregistered CommenterLAZY
Does that mean there's no mail today? Shit. :lol:
02.18.08 @ 02:15PM | Unregistered Commenterkonagod
LOL Presidents! OMG!
That made my entire day!!!

ADQ
02.19.08 @ 09:56PM | Unregistered CommenterKango Mom

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