Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Santa's Vegas Vacation | Main | Laundry »
Saturday
27Dec2008

Her Last Request

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.

The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?" The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.

The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be distributed?"

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."

The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me," he continued, "what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"

The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."

"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding "but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could do around the house with $5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself. She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."

The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn. Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the County bury her."

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