Miss Cellania

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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Religion and Politics | Main | Bargain! »
Sunday
05Oct2008

Life Cycles

THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE     DRINK
17        beer
25        beer
35        vodka
48        double vodka
66        Maalox

HOUSE PET
17    roaches
25    stoned-out college roommate
35    Irish setter
48    children from his first marriage
66    Barbi

SEDUCTION LINE

17    My parents are away for the weekend.
25    My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35    My fiancee is away for the weekend.
48    My wife is away for the weekend.
66    My second wife is dead.

FAVORITE SPORT
17    sex
25    sex
35    sex
48    sex
66    napping

DRUG
17    pot
25    coke
35    really good coke
48    power
66    coke, a limousine, the company jet

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17    "tongue"
25    "breakfast"
35    "She didn't set back my therapy."
48    "I didn't have to meet her kids."
66    "Got home alive."

FAVORITE FANTASY
17    getting to third
25    airplane sex
35    menage a trois
48    taking the company public
66    Swiss maid/Nazi love slave

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17    25
25    35
35    48
48    66
66    17

IDEAL DATE

17    Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25    "Split the check before we go back to my place"
35    "Just come over."
48    "Just come over and cook."
66    sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
 
THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE

AGE DRINK
17    Wine Coolers
25    White wine
35    Red wine
48    Dom Perignon
66    Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser

EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17    Need to wash my hair
25    Need to wash and condition my hair
35    Need to color my hair
48    Need to have Francois color my hair
66    Need to have Francois color my wig

DRUG
17    shopping
25    shopping
35    shopping
48    shopping
66    shopping

FAVORITE SPORT
17    shopping
25    shopping
35    shopping
48    shopping
66    shopping

FAVORITE FANTASY
17    tall, dark and handsome
25    tall, dark and handsome with money
35    tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48    a man with hair
66    a man

DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17    "Burger King"
25    "Free meal"
35    "A diamond"
48    "A bigger diamond"
66    "Home Alone"

WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17    17
25    25
35    35
48    48
66    66

HOUSE PET
17    Muffy the cat
25    Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35    Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
48    Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66    Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat

IDEAL DATE
17    He offers to pay
25    He pays
35    He cooks breakfast the next morning
48    He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66    He can chew breakfast

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