I wonder if marriage is anything like riding a bicycle. Or a career. I was on air for 24 years, and I’ve not missed it once in the two years since, but I think it would be easy again within a few minutes of doing it. Marriage? I don’t know.... I was married for a couple dozen years, not to the same guy, but pretty much constantly through my adult life. After three years of being single, it seems I have forgotten what it’s like to have someone who needs to know where you are at all times, someone who expects some kind of normalcy in a daily schedule, someone who can reach that lightbulb without a ladder. I’m no expert, but I can always find someone on the net who is... or at least writes like they think they are. And there is no shortage of people with an opinion on marriage!



Arranged Marriage

A guide for Thai women on finding a foreign husband. (via Look at This)

Move the couch, maybe you’ll get his attention.

Should I stop playing this game? A decision matrix for married folks.

11 "Don't-Tell-the-Wife" Secrets All Men Keep.

SHORTIES

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?
A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Girl : When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy : It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl : Well that's because we aren't married yet.

COMMUNICATION

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."

Love vs Lust vs Marriage

(via Phil’s Phun)
Love: When you take a bubble bath together
Lust: When you take a bath in Jell-o together
Marriage: When you give the kids a bath

Love: A romantic candle-lit dinner for two
Lust: Do I have to buy you dinner first?
Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals -- to go

Love: Giving your love some candy
Lust: Thinking you are the candy
Marriage: Scraping the kids' candy off of the carpet

Love: Sex every night
Lust: Sex 5 times a night
Marriage: Remember sex? Me either.

Love: A night out at the symphony
Lust: A night out at the Holiday Inn
Marriage: A night out at Sesame Street On Ice

Love: You smell French perfume
Lust: You smell Brut aftershave
Marriage: You smell evidence that the baby needs changing...

Love: Lending your jacket to your love when she is cold
Lust: I can think of a way to stay warm...
Marriage: Your teenage daughter has borrowed all of your jackets

Love: Long drives through the countryside
Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout
Marriage: Long drives with the kids asking, "Are we there yet?"

NIGHTS OUT

(click to enlarge) 

Previously at Miss Cellania:  Marriage and Mars and Venus: Marriage

Thought for today: The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.

humor jokes video funny marriage matrimony