Maybe you know about my car spending 35 days in the shop in November and December getting its transmission rebuilt. This week it failed me. I limped over to my mother-in-law’s house to borrow a car. She’s got three vehicles, but doesn’t drive much, so my first two choices had dead batteries. So I’m driving a Cadillac, which is like steering a boat down the street, but at least it goes when I push the gas pedal. Today I get to go over and jump start her other cars with my malfunctioning van. Monday, as much as I dread it, its back to the shop. On the one hand, I don’t really want to leave my car with the people who who put in a transmission that went out in one month, but shouldn’t they fix it free? I’m not counting on it. I just hope they don’t keep it for another month. Since they are the only tranny shop in town, I don’t have much choice.



Fartman (via Neatorama)

This past Tuesday, YesButNoButYes celebrated three years of bringing you strippers, streakers, comic books, and snarky political commentary. I was proud to be added to the roster of authors about a year and a half ago, and had fun making a little tribute for the occasion.

Busted! It’s hard to pretend you’re not lip-synching when you fall off the stage.

RoboPult: How To Make a vision-guided fireball-throwing catapult out of an ordinary industrial robot.  (via Unique Daily)

And God named the zodiac.

Shirts and Skins. More than just a friendly game of basketball.

Macheads. Get ready for a movie about the Cult of Mac.

A compilation video of people failing badly in whatever they are doing. Might be painful to watch, or it might give you the giggles. Or both. (warning: annoying music)

The Ten Greatest Dicks in American History.

BEHAVING ODDLY

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it," and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.

The psychologist concluded that the soldier was mentally disturbed, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

I want to be a machine. (via Everlasting Blort)

The super-secret Area 51 has a new name: Homey Airport. I am not making this up.

Wired celebrates the Macintosh’s 24th anniversary with a gallery of Apple's worst products. Can’t you just feel the love?

Pointless addictive game of the week: White Dwarf. I don’t know why it’s named that. Collect the green balls, touch a blue ball to stash them and colleect points, and avoid the red balls. They will kill you. (via b3ta)

Japanese emoticons are made to be seen upright instead of sideways, and they require more keystrokes. The results are delightful, but I’m afraid I’ll never learn how to do them in a hurry. What Japan Thinks has a list of the Top Thirty Japanese Emoticons, with explanations.  (via Metafilter)

THE ACT

(via Phil’s Phun)
An Aussie salesman drove into a small town in the far south of New Zealand, where a small circus was playing. A sign read: "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.

There, under the Big Top, in the centre ring, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was a middle aged Maori.
Suddenly, the Maori dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member and smashed all the walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause and the Maori was carried off on their shoulders.

Fifteen years later the salesman visited the same little town, found the same circus, and saw the same faded sign that read, "Don't Miss the Amazing Maori."

He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive, much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket.

Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The old Maori stood before them, then suddenly dropped his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the Maori, "but I have to know something. I saw your act 15 years ago, and you were using walnuts. Why the switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Well," said the Maori, "my eye sight isn't what it used to be."

We’re Gonna Make You A Star! (via Phil’s Phun)

Thought for today: Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. -Mark Twain

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