Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Robot Sex | Main | January 19 Links 2008 »
Sunday
20Jan2008

Pandas

When you see a panda, you just want to say "That ain't no real animal. Thats someone trying to make a giant teddy bar out of mismatched carpet remnants." They have anti-camouflage. They have no natural enemies. They show no aggresive tendencies. If you've seen a panda exhibit at a zoo (I feel privileged to have seen pandas at both the Atlanta Zoo and the National Zoo), you'd probably say that pandas seem to have no tendencies at all. They act like giant teddy bears made out of mismatched carpet remnants. But they are cute and fascinating just because they are so different. The non-violence only helps their image in the real world. Throw in a bit of incongrous violence, and you've got a joke.



Wrestling Baby Panda Twins

Try not to go into diabetic shock over the absolute cuteness in this.

Blof of the day: Get your panda fix at (where else?) Pandafix.

Panda breaks out! They are smart critters.

The Cutie Bunch Friendly Pal Pack.

The Panda Song.

Obey Butterstick!

The Sexual Harassment Panda.

A new breed of Panda. Yeah, its a car ad, but it fits here. This is the cleanest Panda ad I found!

Brush up on your natural science at The Panda's Thumb.


THE PANDA JOKE

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"Well, I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."


This joke was turned into a really funny book about punctuation.


Driftglass has a devastatingly clever twist on the panda joke.




ANOTHER JOKE

A panda walks into a bar, interrupting a heated argument between two customers. The bartender turns to the panda and says, "Hey, just the guy we needed! Tell Ollie and Neville here... are you a bear or some kind of raccoon?"

The panda ponders this for a moment and replies, "Hmmn. You know, not everything is black and white like that."

Pandacam at the National Zoo in Washington, DC.

Pandacam at the San Diego Zoo.

Pandacam at Zoo Atlanta.

Pandacam at the Memphis Zoo.

More panda information from the World Wildlife Fund.

Thought for today: If you can't convince them, confuse them.

This post first appeared on March 2, 2006.

 

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Reader Comments (7)

Pandas are adorable. The Kiss Pandas cracked me up. I'll come back later and check out the links I didn't have time for, I need to get my behind to work.

Have a great day!
03.02.06 @ 06:44AM | Unregistered CommenterKaren
I'm not convinced, but I am confused: are you saying Gene Simmons is a carpet remnant?
03.02.06 @ 11:06AM | Unregistered CommenterHavril
Very funny! I love the "carpet" imagery. And man,that looks so much like Dick Cheney!
03.02.06 @ 02:25PM | Unregistered CommenterMamacita
Those are great pictures of "Butterstick." Thanks for looking them up.

And Cheney? What a dick.
03.02.06 @ 03:26PM | Unregistered CommenterOldHorsetailSnake
Pandas are like Chuckie. Looks like a toy but can chew your head off.

It takes a long time to get caught up here when I miss for a while. I noticed a few [ahem] remarks about Texans. :p
03.02.06 @ 03:31PM | Unregistered CommenterFTS
Yeah, maybe you'll learn better. ;-)
03.02.06 @ 06:50PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
Hey Girl! I love these Panda pics! I have the "Kiss" photo somewhere on my blog too. :)
03.02.06 @ 07:38PM | Unregistered CommenterBar Bar A

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