Remember when we were kids, and you wanted to make friends? The first questions were "Whats your name? How old are you?" Later on, in college, the questions were more refined to elicit meaningful information, "Where are you from? What's your major?" Now, people meet without even seeing each other, but we still try to ask the questions that give us some idea of what kind of person the other may be. One of the first is "Do you have any tattoos or piercings?" Then you draw your own conclusions from the answer. Every tattoo has a story. So do piercings. You'll either get a simple "no" (or a simple "just pierced ears"), or else you'll get a story that will reveal.. something or other.

I do not have any tattoos yet. At the radio station a couple of months ago, one of my co-workers was showing off her new tattoo. Everyone else had to compare their tattoos. I was the only one without a piece of body art. I don't regret that, but it made me feel old. I always thought life had enough pain in it, without paying for more. Here are some links and pictures of tattoos, as well as piercings and other body modifications.

Tattoo Removal

See lots of tattoos at Every Tattoo.

Masonic tattoos.

Its hard to hide your identity when you have your name tattooed on your back!

THE ROSE
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.

One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket."

Taking body modifications to the next level. This ain't real (note the date at the bottom), but its sure weird!

Some push the body mod envelope with tongue splitting.

Here we see an example of a tattoo AND a body mod. However, I don't think the finger was removed on purpose. I would wager money that the missing finger has a "L" tattooed on it. Take it as a warning against trusting in luck.

The Tattooed Banana. Art made by scratching the peel of a banana, so that it turns black. I am aware this is off-topic. So sue me.

DENNIS RODMAN

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar.  They like each other and she goes back with him to  his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his  tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which  reads, "Reebok." She thinks that is a bit odd and  asks him about it.

Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras  pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for  advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she  sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same  explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the  underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS"  tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.

"I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!"

He says, "It's cool baby. In a minute it's going to say  'ADIDAS'...

TATTOO AT AGE 70
The doctor noted with astonishment a tattoo of a bluebird on the shoulder of his 70 year old patient, who was in his office for her annual check up.

"I just got it last week," she explained. "I've wanted a tattoo all my life, and I finally got one!"

"But why did you wait all these years if you really wanted one?" the doctor asked. 

"Until now," she replied, "I was afraid of what my mother would say!!!"

Previously at Miss Cellania: Bodymods, Tattoo Types, and Plastic Surgery. 

Thought for today: Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

PS Some stuff aimed at the usual suspects: More than one person has asked me recently about putting more personal content in this blog. When I started this project, the purpose was to give people something to enjoy; something to laugh at, or at least smile. At the time, my personal life was crap and I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't whiney, depressing, or angry. And I could never believe that anyone would be interested in my everyday life, opinions, or feelings anyway. I wouldn't know where to start. I've thought about starting a second blog for such things, but I don't think there's enough material to keep it going, or to keep it interesting. There is a struggle between sharing and privacy that I haven't settled yet. So what do you think? I can share a bit more of my life here IF there is any interest... and I will still include the jokes. What would you like to hear about? Give me a question and I will probably answer it. I might give you more than you asked for. Just let me know what I should write about and I will give it a try. Thanks!

 This post originally appeared on March 5, 2006.
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