Childhood

Gothgrrl got a new book of riddles and can’t bear not to share. She’s SO impressed that I can “figure out” so many of them -probably because I told the same riddles when I was her age. She’s nine. And there are some that have more than one valid answer. Q: What can you hold without your hands? That thought. Your liquor. Your horses. My seat. NO! Your breath! Q: What can you give away and still keep? Love. Herpes. Company. A rat’s ass. NO! A cold. Uh, OK. Haha! Princess finally said what I was thinking, “Please, can we limit this to one or two jokes a day?” I wouldn’t have said that. How can I make demands that I can’t keep myself?

To those of you who were kind enough to ask how the girls' lemonade stand/yard sale went Saturday: They lasted til almost lunchtime, and made almost five dollars! The neighbors bought lemonade, and a cousin bought all their old books for 10 cents each. The price appalled Grandma, but those books would have been given away if they weren't sold. And the cousin who bought them is going to give them away!

What to do when the monsters come. (via Look at This)

Watch this two-year-old rocking out to System of a Down!

Robot Chicken does a nightmare-inducing version of the childrens book If you Give  a Mouse a Cookie.

Way too much! (via Grow-A-Brain)

All the classic funny kid’s pictures in one place.

Babies eating lemons.

Louis CK on kids. NSFW audio. Hilarious!

FACES

Ms. Smith stopped to reprove Johnny for making faces: "Johnny, when I was small, my mother used to tell me that if I made ugly faces, at some moment it would freeze and stay like that."

Johnny looked up at her and thoughtfully replied: "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't forewarned."

SCAVENGER HUNT

A woman answered her front door and found two little boys standing there holding a list.

"Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."

"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging scavenger hunt?"

To which the little boy replied, "Our sitter's boyfriend."

Beware of Children (via Look at This)

10 ways to entertain young children for a dollar or less (without TV).

Tiny Ninjas.

My Daughter Won’t Shut Up. At age four, the inner monologue is on the outside.

Control A Kid Remote (click to enlarge). If only this worked as good as it looks! Only £3.99. (via Random Good Stuff)

Liam Hoekstra, the 19-month old strongman. (Thanks, Bill!)

These children are extremely advanced.

Ten Big Lessons from Little Kids.

Baby Jessica and other kids you may have forgotten about.

Celebrity kids quiz. I got 86%. (via b3ta)

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned in kindergarten. I always thought this was good, and it made me regret not going to kindergarten. Not that I had a choice back in the stone age.

HONEST ABE

(via Bits and Pieces)
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

Bedtime Song (via Arbroath)

Thought for today: What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman

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