My late husband was a professional bass player. Over the years I heard every bass joke ever concocted. My children are taking music lessons now. The house is full of instruments I cannot play. Oh, I can read music, and pick out something on a piano if I took a long time to do it, but the thing I lack is talent. As Hoss would say, that’s “too bad.” Lately, I’ve made some new musician friends here on the net, like Al Torres, who plays the euphonium in the United States Army Field Band, and Gary Allen, who played drums in the Charlie Daniel Band in the seventies and now has a Nashville outfit called The Outfit.  What musical instrument do you play? I did quite a few years with the clarinet in school, and played a baritone horn in the marching band (they needed some loudness). I could fill in with a trumpet, trombone, or saxophone if needed -it was a small school, so we had to be versatile. It doesn’t mean we were any good.

 
Pipe Dreams from Animusic

Some early musical performances. Like Jimmy Page in 1957, Bob Seger in 1967, and U2 in 1980.

Guitar for sale.

What musical instrument would the Star Wars characters play? This site has some good guesses, er, suggestions.

You play a WHAT?

Would you believe a concert by a band playing washing machines? (via Boing Boing)

What musical instrument are you?

You are a VIOLIN/VIOLA/CELLO.You are the epitome of richness and smoothness and passion rolled all into one. Like the taste of a ridiculously expensive European Dark Chocolate bar, you satiate the soul in a way that nothing else can. At times mournful, at times blissful, at times tranquil, at times burning with a fiery passion, your many facets all share the same expressive colors as those produced by the violin, viola, and cello. Take this quiz! Quizilla | Join | Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

When instruments try to communicate.

Musical instruments that play themselves.

Tsukuba: Nonsense Instruments. Making noise with electricity because we can!

A vast collection of unusual musical instruments.

Q and A

Q: What's the difference between a musician and a pizza ?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: How do you get an musician off your front step ?Finger Tied
A: Pay for the pizza.

Q: How do you get an electric guitarist to turn down his amp ?
A: Put a piece of sheet music in front of him

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter - bass players are never in the light anyway.

Q: How many "deadheads" does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: They don't change it.  They just wait for it to burn out, and then they follow it around for 30 years.

Q: What does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth ?
A: The stage is level.

If you want to play a saxophone, you’ve got to Put Down The Duckie! See how many celebrities you recognize from this 1988 performance.

Music store proprietor Steve Baker sent a guitar to his stepson in Iraq in 2004. His stepson’s friend wanted one, too, so he sent another. When more requests came in, Operation happy Note was born. As of now, Baker and his wife have sent over 300 musical instruments to soldiers overseas.  (via Exploding Aardvark)

Sexy sheet music!

Evolution of a Drummer.

CLEVELAND

The Cleveland Symphony Orchestra was rehearsing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. There is an extensive section where the bass players don't play for twenty minutes of so. One of them decided that, rather than stand around on stage looking bored and stupid, they'd all just file offstage during their tacit-time and hang out backstage, then return when they were about to play. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

On the night of the performance, the bass players filed off as planned. The last one had barely left the stage when the leader suggested, "Hey we've got twenty minutes, let's fun across the street to the bar for a few!"

This idea was met with great approval, so off they went, tuxedos and all, to loosen up. Fifteen minutes and a few rounds later, one of the bass players said, "Shouldn't we be heading back? It's almost time."

But the leader announced, "Oh don't worry, we'll have some extra time - I played a little joke on the conductor. Before the performance started, I tied string around each page of his score so that he'd have to untie each page to turn it. The piece will drag on a bit. We've got time for another round!"

So another round they did, and finally - sloshed and staggering - they made their way back across the street to finish Ludwig's 9th.

Upon entering the stage, they immediately noticed the conductor's haggard, drawn and livid expression.

"Gee," one player queried, "Why do you suppose he looks so tense?"

"You'd be tense, too," laughed the leader. "It's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied and the basses are loaded."

Mario Theme on Euphonium in the Restroom

The Hottest Women in Classical Music. (via Dump Trumpet)

The musical rifle.

Mother Nature’s Music.

Strong Bad has a primer for you on Death Metal. (Thanks, Bill!)

Pearly Gates

Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"

The Horrible Human-Eating Piano!

Previously at Miss Cellania: more posts on Music

Thought for today: I don't know anything about music, In my line you don't have to. -Elvis Presley

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