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« Football 2 | Main | Cows »
Monday
Sep172007

Librarian

As a little kid, I remember spending SO much time at the local library. It moved at least twice before getting its own building, and each time my mother and I would be there painting and cleaning and stacking books. I thought maybe Mom was trying to get a job as a librarian. No, she just loved books and hung around so much that she made friends with the staff. And she was also in a hurry to set up a new library so the books could come out of the boxes and go home with her. When the head librarian died just a few years ago, I hated breaking the news to Mom, who was living in Africa at the time. They had been friends for almost half a century. I still think the library is about the coolest place in town, and librarians have really cool jobs.


 
Gorilla Librarian

Blog of the Day: A Librarian’s Guide to Etiquette. (via Exploding Aardvark)

The new image of librarians.

“You’re a librarian?” Mama told you not to stereotype people.

Library Ninja. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Pimp My Bookcart contest winners. (via Boing Boing)

In this “make your own adventure” story, you are a male novelist meeting a hot librarian who is a fan. NSFW.

The 100 most influential books ever written.

The Top 25 Librarian Bloggers. (via Charlierblog3)

Beautiful libraries around the world. (via Neatorama)

KIDS

The new school librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a 'Contract' for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a third grader who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought three books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech, he said scornfully, "The other librarian we had knew how to write."

THE BLONDE

A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" .

"Yes, Ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

"What was wrong with it?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

LIGHT BULBS

How many academic librarians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just five. One changes the light bulb while the other four form a committee and write a letter of protest to the Dean, because after all, changing light bulbs IS NOT professional work!

How many reference librarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
(with a perky smile) "Well, I don't know right off-hand, but I know where we can look it up!"

How many book publishers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it and two to hold down the author.

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?
"Do we have to get author's approval for this?"
Two, one to change the bulb and one to issue a rejection slip to the old bulb.

How many proofreaders does it take to change a light bulb?
Proofreaders aren't supposed to change light bulbs. They should just query them.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.

How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to tell a long story about it.

How many literary critics does it take to change a light bulb?
Literary critics don't know how, but rest assured they'll find something wrong with the way you do it.

Date with a Librarian (possibly NSFW)

Thought for today: As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her. -Erma Bombeck

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Reader Comments (4)

Yep...the library was my oasis in my youth. And I didn't even have to nudge camels out of my way to partake.
09.17.07 @ 05:12AM | Unregistered CommenterBookfeathers
Reminds me of a story back when I was in junior high school. About 30 of us went to the school library every day for a week and checked out the maximum number of books. Then, we returned them all on the same day overwhelming the poor librarian. Unfortunately, for us, the principal got wind of it and assigned us morning detention duty to help check them all in.
09.17.07 @ 10:33AM | Unregistered CommenterBadabing
Good for her/him! Y'all probably learned a bit about the library checking all those books in.
09.17.07 @ 10:45AM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
Little know fact about Actor212.

His sister is a former president of the American Librarian's Association.

That ought to tell you how important books were to us.
09.17.07 @ 12:31PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212

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