Mixed Drinks

At one time in my life, I kept a rather well-stocked bar in my apartment (in a state where that was legal) and prided myself on mixing a nice cocktail. If you keep a half-dozen basic kinds of alcohol around, and a couple of flavors of soda pop, you are in business. I had 10-12 kinds of booze, sour mix, coconut milk, fresh fruit, tonic, and several kinds of soda. Over time I realized that everyone I knew just wanted a beer, and they’d just as soon get it at the local watering hole, where there were pinball games. Oh well. It was tasty while it lasted. Now I keep only my favorite Southern Comfort handy. I haven’t had a drink in months, but I will if I ever get caught up on work!

 
Whiskey Ad (who’s intimidating now?)

Viagra cocktails.

A gadget you wish was real. The Drunk Caddy.

Drunk-O-Vision.

Classic recipes for Hawaiian cocktails. (via All Night Surfing)

The Ten Greatest Alcohol Icons of All Time.

Drinks to avoid like the plague.

Carl Mertens Wine comes with its own thermometer to indicate whether the wine is at the proper temperature for serving! And after the wine is gone, it makes a cool bracelet.

MappyHour uses Google Maps technology to show you where the half-price drinks are. (via Boing Boing)

Drunk Monkeys.

Sweden has found another way to recycle. Almost all alcoholic drinks smuggled into Sweden illegally that the government seizes are now turned into biogas to run public vehicles. Last year 700,000 liters (184,000 US gallons or 154,000 UK gallons) were converted to biogas for buses, trucks, and one train. (via Arbroath)

Countries with the highest alcohol consumption.

The 2007 Wino Sign Awards from Drunkard Magazine. (Thanks, Jan!

From Comics with Problems, here’s Captain Al Cohol.

THE WIFE

An unhappy wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked.

"Oh, I don't know. The same as you I suppose," she replied.

So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out.

"Yuck, that's TERRIBLE!" she spluttered. "I don't know how you can drink this stuff!"

"Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!"

Another drunken night

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

DRINKS OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM

(via It Occurred to Me)
Absolute Zero = Absolut vodka over frozen nitrogen
Alexander the Grrreat = Gin, creme de cacao, and sweet cream over corn flakes
American in Paris = Kentucky bourbon and champagne
Black Sabbath = Kahlua and Mogen David wine
Blind Faith = Wood alcohol and sacramental wine
Blood Clot = Vodka, tomato juice, and Jell-O
Bloody Awful = Vodka and ketchup
Blue Moon = Corn whiskey and Aqua Velva
Brown Bowl = Vodka and Prune Juice
Coleman Cooler = White wine, soda, fried chicken crumbs, and sand
Fuzzy Naval Base = Peach schnapps, orange juice, and ammonia
George Bush = George Dickel bourbon and Busch beer
Gorbachev = Vodka with a splash of port wine
Honeydew the Dishes = Midori and Dawn
Marie Antoinette = Bourbon, cake mix, and flat beer
Martinizer = Gin, vermouth, and carbon tetrachloride
Mary Poppins = Vodka, tomato juice, and a spoonful of sugar
Mexican Hairless = Tequila and Minoxidil
Oil of Ole = Mazola and Sangria
Peter, Paul, and Mary = Potassium nitrate, Paul Masson wine, and tomato juice
Phillips' Screwdriver = Vodka, orange juice, and milk of magnesia
Port in a Storm = Red wine and rainwater
Quack Doctor = Cold duck and Dr. Pepper
A Rum with a View = Bacardi and Visine
Rum-Pole of the Bailey = Bacardi rum, Popov vodka, and Bailey's Irish Cream
Sake-to-me = Rice wine, punch, and nitrous oxide
Scotch Tapeworm = Dewar's and Mescal
Shipwreck = Cutty Sark on the rocks
Short Wave = Ripple in a shot glass, ginger, syrup, and pomegranate
Sinead O'Connor = Irish whiskey and Nair
Skid Roe = Muscatel and caviar
Sour Kraut = Schnapps and lemon juice
Sundae Driver = Vodka, orange juice, and ice cream
Tequila Mockingbird = Jose Cuervo and birdseed

Cocktails for Two

Thought for today: There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others.  -William Faulkner

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Comments

[Carlos]

You mean there are states that prohibit well-stocked bars in your home/apartment?

[LBB]

Boy did you touch me with this post, Miss.

[Skunkfeathers]

These days, I drink enough to constitute a six pack a year. Perhaps I need to change that. Do you deliver?

[actor212]

Southern Comfort: Hillybilly Roofies.

[Miss Cellania]

Actor, surely you've heard of the mating call of the Southern Belle: "Oh, I am SO drunk, y'all!"

[Walt]

Miss Cellania, That sounds very familiar,

Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?

A: "I'm sooooo drunk!"

I like Southern blonds, but now I'm not so sure it would be safe to date you, I may have to take my mammaw along as chaperone.