To finish off a really “bad” week, (Bad Parenting, Bad Sex, Bad Science, and Bad Medicine) I went to a really bad category in my files... blonde jokes. Not too many links, but I’ve had a bit of a time crunch, with more tomatoes than I’ve ever grown all deciding to ripen at the same time. And that time would be during the back-to-school sales. And the local fair. So forgive me for taking the easy way out today, as I get caught up (yeah right) or TRY to get caught up on all the other things in my life. And if I get a decent amount of work done this weekend, I’ll reward myself with a dye job! Then I’ll stop feeling gray and be back to my normal blonde self.

 
Blonde and Blonder

The Searching Blonde

A police officer saw a blonde down on her knees under a streetlight.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"I dropped my ring and I'm looking for it," replied the blonde.

After helping the woman look for her ring, the officer thought to ask,

"Are you sure you dropped it right right here?"

"No," she responded, "I dropped it about two blocks away."

"Then why the heck are we looking for it here?" asked the agitated officer.

"Because the light's better here," said the blonde.

The $99 Cruise

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
This blonde (of course!) walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."

The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.

Another blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special cruise. She, too, is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.

Drifting into a stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first student asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"

The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."

DOG

(Thanks, Phil!)
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says,  "Where?"

Training the blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Top 10 blonde inventions

(via Big Shot Bob in Texas)
1. The waterproof towel

2. Solar powered flashlight

3. Submarine screen door.

4. A book on How to read

5. An inflatable dart board.

6. A dictionary index.

7. Ejector seat in a helicopter

8. Powdered water

9. Pedal- powered wheel chair.

10. Water proof tea-bag.

Thought for today: It's great being blonde - with such low expectations it's easy to impress. -Pamela Anderson

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