This is my 23rd Mars and Venus post! There may even be more than that, since I don't have everything categorized yet, but you can see old posts here. You’d think sooner or later, the humor in the subject would be exhausted, but there seems to be no end. I have to admit, the opposite sex is fascinating and frustrating, no matter which one it is. Men would like to figure out what makes a woman tick, and women would certainly like to figure out what makes men the way they are. We can try to explain it to one another,  but knowing and understanding are two very different things, and that’s where the funny stuff starts!

Bill Engvall on the Difference

Women really say some weird things at times. (via Double Viking) This is another reason you should read Overheard in New York.

Men are from Google, Women are from Yahoo. The difference in how men and women use the internet.

Ten things that men are more likely to do than women. You probably already know these, but this list is based on research.

Ten things women are more likely to do than men. Some of these may surprise you.

Ten things men should never have appropriated from women.

Men that are Better than Any Woman Ever. Four of them, including the author of this piece and a fictional character.

How to read a woman’s facial expressions. For clueless men. This explains a lot. We women assume you guys know how to do this already, since it’s so simple for us.

Pink for girls, blue for boys? It wasn’t always so! Bad Science takes a look at the recent news that scientists found a preference for pink in females. According to early 20th century literature, pink should be designated for boys, and blue for girls!

10 Things You Don't Know About Women. (via Look at This)

Another, more serious view of the difference between men and women.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Communication

(via Bits and Pieces)

What a woman says:
This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
you'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears:
blah,blah,blah,blah, C'MON
blah,blah,blah,blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah,blah,blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah,blah,blah,blah, NO CLOTHES
blah,blah,blah,blah, RIGHT NOW

WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK

Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany.

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".

Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.

When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."

Ten Things Only Women Understand

(Thanks, Rich!)
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. Fat clothes
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time
5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell
4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow
3. Eyelash curlers
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made
1. OTHER WOMEN

 
Thought for today: I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know. 'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little bit?" -Garry Shandling

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