Heat wave! I can barely make myself go outside after dark to water the garden, but it’s neccessary. Forget mowing, I have no death wish. My peppers are turning red as fast as they can -faster than I can process them. The tomatoes have given their all and are fading fast. The grass is brown, and the sunflowers are drooped over under the weight of their seeds. This place looks more like October than August, but it feels like pure August dog days misery. I don’t even want to hear what the heat index is supposed to be anymore. It makes you wonder how on earth we ever got along without air conditioning. My kids’ school has central air, but it fails under the load every afternoon, so I sent a box fan to help out. Princess found that’s one sure way to become popular!



Total Momsense (via Old Horsetail Snake)

Can you count all the sexual metaphors they crammed into this one ad?

13 of the worst fake accents on film.

Two guys swearing at each other. Very much NSFW. (via b3ta)

The ten best and worst cities, ranked for liveability.

Uranus’ rings weren’t discovered until 1977. Now, a telescope in Hawaii has taken images of the side where the sun doesn’t shine. The changes observed in the rings since 1980 are attributed to large impacts (and you know how painful that can be). Some say those aren't really rings, they're Klingons flying around Uranus. Of course, humans can't live on Uranus, because  of all the gas.

Loads of Laughter: Internet acronyms, badly interpreted.

If corporate board meetings were like the internet. So true.

Fun with Labels at the Asian Market. Pork uterus, anyone? (via the Presurfer)

Bubba At The Revival

(Thanks, Rich!)
Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over.

Bubba gets in line and when it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about? "

Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while.  After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?"

Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday."

I have found the ultimate Groucho glasses picture, but in keeping with my no-nudity policy, I’ll just send you to see it at It Occurred to Me.

What an out-of-control window washing rig can do to a glass skyscraper.

A nightmare-inducing version of the childrens book If You Give  a Mouse a Cookie.

How to repair your glasses to make them last forever.

Really Cool Aquariums.

Dedicated photographers go the extra mile for a picture.

What Not to Knit and What Not to Crochet. (via the Presurfer)

What a Wonderful World. A funny, touching, and impressive shadow puppet show.

CHAFFEUR

(Thanks, Gary!)
Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver. "You know" he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Have at it."

Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap. The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.

The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving. He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law... But I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."

The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?"

The young trooper said, "No, he's more important  than that."

The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president."

The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."

The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?" 

The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"

The Dog and The Bunny (via Everlasting Blort)

A film by Hungarian Igor Lazin, originally entitled A kutya és a nyuszi, this silly film looks at misunderstandings between species.

Thought for today: He who hesitates is a damned fool. -Mae West

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