This has turned out to be a bad week around here. I had already scheduled a post on medical humor, but after the first three really bad posts, I took a look and yes, most of the links today are about bad medicine. And the jokes are pretty bad, but that’s normal around here. Notice I refrained from including the Bon Jovi song -you can thank me later. It’s still running through my head as I write this. The things I go through for you guys!



Hospital  -Benny Hill (via Look at This)

Trepanation: People with holes in their heads.

An Illustrated History of Trepanation traces the practice of making holes in people’s heads from prehistory to some quirky recent stories. (via the Presurfer)

The rise & fall of the prefrontal lobotomy. Not for the squeamish. (via Boing Boing)

Monkey-to human testicles transplants.

Meet Oscar, the cat who lives in a hospital, and has become the LOLcat of death.

Rules is Rules

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for most patients when they're being discharged. However, this girl working as a student nurse found one elderly gentleman -- already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase as his feet -- who insisted he didn't need her help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, she asked if his wife was meeting him.

"I don't know," he said. "I think she's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."

BAD NAMES IN MEDICINE

Perfect name for a Urologist. (via b3ta)

OB/GYN Harry Beaver.

A Urologist named Cockburn.

An OB/GYN named Dick Stiff. Probably working his way up to fertility specialist.

More funny doctor’s names.

Even more funny doctor’s names.

UROLOGY

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
An old guy had an appointment to see the urologist. As he approached the reception desk he saw that the woman there was large, unfriendly, and resembled a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

"YES," in a very loud voice, "YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, though, and in an equally loud voice, said:

"NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS."

Obvious Diagnosis

(Thanks, Phil!)
A young doctor was to take up his new position in a small community hospital in a town.

The retiring older doctor suggested the young one to accompany him on his rounds for a couple of weeks to understand the finer points of practice in a small community and at the same time for him to meet a few patients. 

At the first visit to a farmers house the farmer’s wife complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The senior doctor thought for a moment or two and said, ‘Well I think you've probably been eating too much of bananas , try to cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that helps" 

As they left the young doctor was absolutely surprised and asked his senior , "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you make your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. I dropped my stethoscope on the floor by mistake and when I bent over to pick it up guess what I saw in the trash bin – at least half dozen banana peels. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Oh” the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever, maybe I'll try that at our next house visit”. 

The next day they did another house visit.. Both spent several minutes talking with a young pretty lady who was complaining of lack of energy and tiredness for the past few days for no real reason. She said " Doc, I'm feeling terribly run down lately, I don’t know why “

The older doctor said “Oh, I am sure there is good reason but for someone as youthful as you this cannot be a serious reason”

The young doctor on this responded, "I think sir there is, she is probably been doing too much work for the church, perhaps she cut back a bit and sleep a little more and see if that helps". The girl went slightly red and said nothing and just nodded.

As they left, the senior doc surprised at this said, "Your diagnosis is probably correct, but how did you arrive at it? "  

"Well, just like you did at the last house, I also dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to pick it up, guess what I saw”

“What did you see”

“I noticed the preacher under the bed!!."

Betty Boop, MD.

Thought for today: I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

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