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« Cheating | Main | Mars and Venus: Man Things »
Monday
Jul092007

World Travel

My mother the globetrotter is packing for a three-week tour of the UK (again), so I’ll be without my relief and emergency babysitter for a while. She’s been all over Europe, North America, and Africa, but I haven’t yet talked her into an Asian trip... probably because the girls and I would want to go with her. You really get to know someone when you travel to new places with them, and she knows me well enough to veto that ahead of time. But she’s a great traveler. I think she’s the only one on her tour who had no problem getting a passport on time. It’s because she updates hers a year before it expires. Not erveryone is so well prepared.


How to Scare Tourists.

Around the World in Twelve Songs with Boowa and Kwala.

Tastes of Tasmania. I didn’t know Tasmania was known for its food, but this makes me want to visit!

If you don’t speak the language, you can point to the symbols on this shirt to ask where to find what you need! Ladies may achieve faster results. (via Nag on the Lake)

The Ten Commandments of Travel. Seriously good advice. (Thanks, Jan!)

Why Oz is China.

Ten Awesome Sports Destinations.

Who is your inner European? (via Konagod, who is also Dutch)

Your Inner European is Dutch!
Open minded and tolerant. You're up for just about anything.

 

Men do not pack ahead of time. Which is why we do so much shopping on our trips.

What kind of traveler are you? Find your Travel Personality! I am a "Centric-Venturer Traveler". (via Ursi’s Blog)

Hanan Levin of Grow-A-Brain is from Israel, lives in California, but wants to move to New Zealand. He has a blog about it, KoruKoru, where you’ll find lots of neat links and information. 

2 year round-the-world motorcycle trip.

BAR TALK

A visiting conventioneer from Kentucky walked into a bar in Greenwich  Village and sat next to a rather attractive woman.

"Hi," he said, "I'm new in town. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Get lost," she remarked, "I am a lesbian."

"Oh, really?" he asked, "How are things in Beiruit?"

VENEREAL DISEASE

A man returns from overseas and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo some tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. "This is your doctor. We have the results back from your tests and we have found you have an extremely nasty STD called G.A.S.H. It's a combination of Gonorrhea, AIDS, Syphilis, and Herpes!"

"Oh my gosh," cried the man, "What are you going to do, doctor?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread." replied the doctor.

"Will that cure me?" asked the man.

The doctor replied, "Well no, but, it's the only food we can slide under the door."

BEDROOM TALK

A Greek man, relaxing at his favorite cafe in Krateron (a small Greek village in northern Greece), managed to attract a spectacular blonde woman. He invited her back to his apartment, and after some small talk they made love. After a pleasant interlude, and, at what seemed to him to be the appropriate time, he stretched, asked with a smile, "So...you finish?"

She paused for a second, frowned, and replied "No."

Pleasantly surprised, the Greek man reached for her and had his way with her again. This time she's wild, thrashing about on the bed and climaxing with screams of passion. Again, the Greek man smiles, and asks, "You finish?"

And again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him, and says "No."

Stunned, but damned if this woman is going to outlast him, the young man reaches for his date. It takes all of his strength and he barely manages to do it, but they climax simultaneously, screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping bed sheets. It's dawn by then, and, entirely spent, the exhausted Greek man falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly, and asks, "You finish!?"

"Dammit, no!" she shouts back. "For the last time, I am Swedish!"

Thought for today: If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

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Reader Comments (8)

HA HA HA Finish

Your Inner European is Russian!
Mysterious and exotic.
You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Hmm i don;t have to take back my Russian ex do I?

Travel is something I have been thinking about myself for the future. I like seeing what I have read about.

Thanks for the laughs
07.09.07 @ 02:15AM | Unregistered CommenterWalker
If someone is coming to NYC, I have some advice for them.

http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/2006/12/tourist-season.html

I'm afraid I didn't get the finish joke, MissC... ;-)
07.09.07 @ 10:16AM | Unregistered CommenterActor212
"For the last time, I am Swedish!"

LOL

Thanks for the giggles!
07.09.07 @ 04:44PM | Unregistered CommenterMarti
I've just given you an award for a Rockin' Chick...if you want the badge, you can get it from my blog.
07.09.07 @ 07:40PM | Unregistered CommenterKuanyin
Wow, Kuanyin, I am honored!

Walker, mysteriious and exotic, I would agree.

Thanks, Marti!

Actor, you Finnish!
07.09.07 @ 08:18PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania
The doctor replied, "Well no, but, it's the only food we can slide under the door."
-----------------
LOLMAO

This was a great post MissC! ;)
07.09.07 @ 09:46PM | Unregistered CommenterSuzie-Q (S-Q)
Excellemt ones there!

Back from vacation.
07.10.07 @ 09:16AM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
My inner european was Dutch as well. Funny, I don't smoke ganja!

I don't like England very much though even though I live here. Perhaps Holland would suit me better!
07.12.07 @ 06:53AM | Unregistered CommenterRon Knee

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