The July 4th holiday was pretty much yanked out from under me. It’s my fault for not checking the local paper (I don’t subscribe). I didn’t consider they might have the municiple fireworks on Tuesday instead of Wednesday. Probably due to church services. I can almost understand why they’d move Halloween Trick or Treat away from Wednesday, but fireworks? They don’t start until dark, and no prayer meetings (at least here intown) run that late! But Tuesday at nightfall, the booming started. And my kids were at my mother’s house in a different town. Oh well, I had some backyard fountains and sparklers we could use on the Fourth. But no, they got invited to stay with their cousins, since this was the most convenient week for that. I packed their bags and sent the fireworks, and watched the Macy’s fireworks at home alone. Sigh.

Note to bloggers: If you link to this site, I certainly appreciate it. If you link to this site using the URLs http://misscellania.com , http://misscellania.squarespace.com , http://www.misscellania.squarespace.com , or http://www.misscellania.com/miss-cellania , I still appreciate it,  but it doesn't do me as much good, and I'd probably never find out about it, since those are all redirected. So check and see, please, and use the main URL http://www.misscellania.com/  Thank you!

911 Calls

Waterskiing animals, from squirrels to elephants.

Why is envy green? And other color legends.

A story of corporate lunacy. Reminiscent of Fruitbasket Turnover.

LOLMetal. (via Look at This)

Wikipedia editing wars erupt over the smallest details.

Web 2.0 explained in two sentences.

The Useless Men show explain urinal maintenance.

Hungrr.com sent its mascot, Hungry, to the iPhone line in New York the first day they went on sale. He handed out a thousand awareness buttons and got into trouble with a Fox News crew, who called the cops on him. Hungrr.com is selling the iPhone he bought on eBay to benefit the Northwest Louisiana Food Bank.

Blog of the Day: The Blank Top Chronicles is written by a guy who answers the phone for a DC cab company. Besides the wealth of material (never underestimate the stupidity of people demanding service), he tells these stories well.

An amazing account of a chess game from the comments at Metafilter.

King George, in comic form.

MIGRAINE

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor gets his history and gives him an exam, he discovers that the man has tried practically every therapy known for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the doctor, "I have migraines, too, and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school. But, it is advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while."

The doctor continued, "Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in five weeks."

Five weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for fifteen years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a really nice house."

Muppet Explosions

Russian Sparta: Scenes of Russian life set to the soundtrack of the trailer for the movie 300.

The Missing Piece.

Trouble in the Superman family.

Best dog suit ever. It's a marketing promotion for a German zoo.

Something fishy from Wendell Wit.

Organic fuel explained. Sort of.

Norman Roberts of  Innings has  revamped his entertainment site No Subscription Required. He posts links to  to entertainment sites where you can watch TV, movies, and videos free on the ‘net. Check it out!

Nudist Trampolining. It’s been so long since I posted this game that I had forgotten how fun it is! (via Wulfweard)

Dubya is soliciting designs for his Presidential Library. Always eager to be helpful, Fark has some design suggestions.

How to meet and marry a billionaire.

He blinded her out of rage, she married him, now its a movie. You cannot make this stuff up.

Everything you need to know about yodeling.

Proof that porn leads to violence.

EARS

(via Phil’s Phun)
A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming....

That was me."

Jaws Theme (via House of Eratosthenes) You didn’t know this song had lyrics, did you?

Thought for today: Vital papers demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

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