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Redneck Sense

I’ve discussed the difference between rednecks and hillbillies before; I’m not going to go over it again. But us “poor rural folk” of all stripes are really good at at least one thing... recycling. For example, a sophisticated middle-class person would find that a bucket had a leak and they’d toss it. I saved my leaky buckets, and now that we have a drought, I put them in the vegetable garden and fill them with water to make a drip irrigation system. My sophisticated counterpart would buy a soaker hose. In fact, my garden is a horrendous masterpiece of recycling. My mulch is a conglomeration of leftover vinyl siding, plastic sheeting, and newspapers, with pine needles on top. My tomato trellises are made of pipes and rebar. My peppers are supported by funeral flower stands. Of course, some take this a bit further, like using tires for flower beds and non-working autos for lawn ornaments. Not me, I have to draw the line somewhere!


Redneck Women

Blog of the Day: Trashology.

White Trash Lava Lamp. Make your own lava lamp from a glass jug and an old saucepan.

Never piss off a redneck with a backhoe.

What Redneck Are You?

what redneck are you?
Your Result: hank Jr

a bottle of jack and a few rowdy friends is your life. you like country music and just hanging around. you know what its like to be laid up here in a country state of mind

ted nugent

david allen coe

hillary clinton

what redneck are you?
Make a Quiz


Bush and Cheney as the Dukes of Hazzard. It just seemed to fit here. Audio NSFW.

Explaining rednecks to the Japanese. (via Japan Probe)

Did you know there were Canadian Rednecks? They’ve even got their own website!

Redneck Medical Terms

Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.........................What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section..........A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan........................Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize......................Made eye contact with her.

Colic............................A sheep dog.

Coma...........................A punctuation mark.

D&C............................Where Washington is.

Dilate...........................To live long.

Enema..........................Not a friend.

Fester...........................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula...........................A small lie.

G.I.Series....................World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.

Impotent......................Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff................A Doctor's cane.

Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates.

Node...........................I knew it.

Outpatient...................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis...........................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative.............A letter carrier.

Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.

Rectum.......................Damn near killed him.

Secretion.....................Hiding something

Seizure........................Roman emperor.

Tablet.........................A small table.

Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor..........................More than one.

Urine..........................Opposite of mine.

Varicose......................Near by/close by

FISH AND WILDLIFE

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
Those labels on metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds have been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated "Wash. Biol. Surv."

That was before the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."

The bands are now marked "Fish and Wildlife Service."

Previously at Miss Cellania: quite a few posts on Rednecks and Hillbillies.

Thought for today: If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

June 2007 Perfect Post Awards

PS Skunkfeathers has made a hobby of 419 scambaiting, but he really outdid himself on the post Really Baaaaad Skunk, where he rewrites a scam letter for the scammer. It’s a hoot! So it’s my Perfect Post for the month of June. You can see al the Perfect Post Awards at Petroville and at Suburban Turmoil. You can also sign up to give one away next month, if you like! 


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Posted on Monday, 07.02.07 @ 12:06AM by Registered CommenterMiss Cellania in | Comments8 Comments

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Reader Comments (8)

It took me three reads to get the WashBiolSurv joke...LOL!
07.02.07 @ 11:46AM | Unregistered CommenterActor212
this is only a test, it never posts but I keep trying!
07.02.07 @ 04:43PM | Unregistered Commentertester
Ok,so I can now post something, but what? Well I just put on a big pot of Pinto Beans, so I don't think I will be needing your fart button anytime soon. Mother used to say I was a HillBuck, half hillbilly,and half buckeye.
07.02.07 @ 05:01PM | Unregistered CommenterWalt
I have fond memories of my time in southern Louisiana! Long live rednecks & coonasses! ;-)
07.02.07 @ 08:51PM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
Harlan County Native Making A Run For The White House

http://www.wkyt.com/wymtnews/headlines/7893237.html
I'm sick of having white trash in the White House!
It's time we had a real hillbilly.
07.03.07 @ 12:33AM | Unregistered CommenterWalter
I was born in Harlan County! WYMT is considered a "local" station where I am.
07.03.07 @ 12:49AM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
The redneck pet carrier had me cracking up. :-)
07.03.07 @ 11:08AM | Unregistered CommenterColl
Dadburn it! How did I miss this here plug! Thanks anyways!

Great post, and very funny, as usual.

BFF,
Miss T


P.S. -- Where'd you git that picture of them kittens? Our kitties has been missin an' them looks an awful lot like ours. Jus wonderin.
07.15.07 @ 06:18PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Trashahassee

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