Animal Kingdom
Friday, 06.08.07 @ 12:03AM 
Do you ever get tired of funny stuff about animals? My files were bulging, so I sorted and now I have files on cats, dogs, big cats, squirrels, elephants, birds, insects, monkeys, and miscellanious little furballs. If you have any jokes or links for any of 
those, please send them to me! Still, my “animal links” file was left with a bunch of links that didn’t fit those categories, or they concerned different animal species. So I’ll throw those out for you today. If you want more animal humor, look through the Critters category.
This dominatrix duck has the dog wrapped around her little finger. Nibble on his ear and he’ll roll over like a puppy dog. Which only makes sense. (via Arbroath)
There may be as few as 25 Borneo rhinos left in the world, making it one of the world's rarest animal species. The first still photograph of a Borneo rhino was taken only last year. Now, a World Wildlife Foundation project has captured the first video footage of the Borneo rhino. (via Arbroath)
The Crossing: use your mouse to help the fawns cross the river. Yes, it eventually gets harder. Pleasant art and music. (via Ursi’s Blog)
Ninja animals. A collection of funny videos.
Interspecies Sex. NSFW.
Pretty frog and cute stingray.
Critters, via Google Earth
ANTELOPE
(Thanks, Phil!)
Once upon a time, a beautiful young antelope had a date in the forest, so she was getting all gussied up- new dress, makeup, everything.
Suddenly, as she was just about ready, she was stampeded by a herd of wildebeests, becoming the world's first self-dressed, stamped antelope.
The Daily Mail pulled out its archives and put together a gallery of animals who got their heads stuck into things. (via Arbroath)
50 animals driving. (via Everlasting Blort)
VULTURES WITH RACCOONS
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
THE FLY
(via Old Horsetail Snake)
In the dead of summer, a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. It was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular: "Gosh, if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed."
There was a fish in the water, thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him."
There was a bear on the shore, thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will eat him."
It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwish. "Gosh," he thought, "if that fly goes down three inches, and that fish leaps for it, that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish, at which point I'll shoot the bear and then have a proper trophy."
You think this is enough activity for one bank of one lake? There is more.
A wee mouse down by the hunter's foot was thinking, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly, and that bear grabs for that fish, the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat luking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the bank of this particular lake around lunch time, "Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear, and the mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich then I can have mouse for lunch."
The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.
The fish swallows the fly.
The bear grabs the fish.
The hunter shoots the bear.
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich.
The cat jumps for the mouse.
The mouse ducks, and
The cat falls into the water and drowns.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy is probably in danger.
Thought for Today: You can't just let nature run wild. - Wally Hickel, former governor of Alaska
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