Dating Horrors
Tuesday, 06.05.07 @ 12:05AM 
Once again, a subject I know very little about, yet I keep on posting. Sometimes I just can't help myself. There’s too much material about the ups and downs of the dating game. The more I laugh at other’s difficulties in dating and finding the right person, the better I feel about staying home on Saturday nights. Every Saturday night. Week after week, month after month, year after year. Probably every Saturday night for the rest of my life. OK, now I’m starting to feel bad about it, lets get on with the funnies, quick!
This is why I don’t do dating services. (via Everlasting Blort)
I Can’t Believe He’s Still Single! Some of the more entertaining dating profiles found around the net. Guys can use this is a guide for what NOT to say.
Aunt Calamity’s Cyber Dating Guide. On the web, men are pigs. In real life, men are real pigs.
The 100 Unsexiest Men 2007. That's a lot. I’d suggest you skip to the top ten. (via Dump Trumpet)
The Craigslist Personal Ad Translator.
Pickupedia, the encyclopedia of pickup lines. (via Militant Platypus)
Nasty breakup letter exchange.
A comic about office dating.
Online Dating Profile Dictionary. Read this before you get your hopes up. (via the Presurfer)
How to Dress for a Date. (Thanks, Jan!)
Manquarium. Build your perfect man and keep him in the water where he’ll stay safe. (via Theater of the Absurd)
Strong Bad tries to ruin a date.
Where the Single Men and Women Are.
Video: If ONLY it were this easy!
This will improve your sex life. If you are desperate enough.
When you fill out an online dating profile, be sure to use traits that any woman can understand.
THE SHOPPERS
A man walked into a fur store accompanied by beautiful, stacked redhead. "Show my new girlfriend your finest mink," he announced loudly. The storeowner quickly retrieved a full coat, which the redhead tried on and loved.
"That coat costs $100,000," the shop owner said.
"No problem," the man smiled, "I'll write you a check in full for it right now."
"Wonderful!" beamed the shop owner, "Since today is Friday, I'll just hold it for you to pick up on Monday after your check has had a chance to clear the bank."
The happy couple left the store.
On Monday afternoon, the man returned alone, and was greeted by the owner angrily, "How dare you come back here and show your face again? Didn't you know your check would bounce because of insufficient funds?"
"Oh, sure," smiled the happy customer, "But I just came by to thank you for the best weekend of my life."
THE CARNIVAL 
Jesse took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Amber?" asked Jesse.
"I want to get weighed," replied Amber.
They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Jesse again asked Amber what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Jesse lost his dollar.
By this time, Jesse figured that she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How did it go?"
Amber responded, "Oh, Waura. It was wousy."
Previously at Miss Cellania: Dating, In all the wrong places. Mars and Venus: Bad Date, Mars and Venus: Crossed Signals, Mars and Venus: Seeking. and Sex and the Single Blogger.
Thought for today: How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide? -Judy Tenuta
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Reader Comments (5)
Oh, Miss C., if I were single (and not two thousand miles away) you'd be having to screen my calls on your machine. If you're sitting at home, it's for lack of chaps good enough to warrant the time.