Right out of college, I shared an apartment with a girl from New Jersey. I loved to listen to her talk, but sometimes I didn’t understand what she said. Later, I hear she said the same thing about me! I visited her hometown, New Brunswick, for a few days and found out she didn’t have a speech impediment after all -everyone talked like that!

Thirty years or so later, I drove through New Jersey again. I was just passing through, but I stopped for breakfast. Living in Kentucky, I’m used to being asked “grits or hash browns?” when ordering breakfast. Sometimes they ask “grits or potatoes?” But in Jersey, the waitress asked me “Would you like hash browns or potatoes?” I was flummoxed. All my life I though hash browns were potatoes! Silly me!

Before The Sopranos became the best show on TV and made over ten million Americans wake up in the morning and get themselves some HBO, it was a labor of love long in development hell. We all so equate Tony Soprano's opening credits drive through the netherlands of New Jersey with A3's song about getting himself a gun, that it's hard to believe that the credits were originally set to different music. During Chase's pitch of the pilot to HBO, he tried to go to the rights clearance mat with the folks at Apple Corp. But at the time, The Beatles were still bigger than The Sopranos, and Chase lost out on his first choice. Here's what might have been. (via Bits and Pieces)

So, did you watch The Sopranos? I never did, but I’m not a TV watcher. Jellio is taking a poll to see how loyal viewers feel about the series finale. If you are having withdrawal symptoms, see the real-life version.

Why is New Jersey called The Garden State? Nobody knows!

Skunkfeathers on being lost in New Jersey.

If if weren’t for New Jersey, we wouldn’t have Monopoly! Or would we?

Monty’s friend Wai has something to say about New Jersey drivers.

Twelve great things about New jersey. (via Mystic Chords)

Ed’s New Jersey One-liners

New Yorkers saw light at the end of the tunnel (and it was New Jersey).

The best thing that's come out of New Jersey is I-95.

You have to pay to get into New York City, but in New Jersey you have to pay to get out.

Route 1

This anecdote comes from Dr. Bob:
An entire high school Social Studies class in my home state of New Jersey was asked a simple and presumably obvious geography question during the Middle East Oil Crisis, complete with gas lines at service stations. It was in the news continuously.

The question was: "What route do oil tankers use to get from the Persian Gulf to New York Harbor?"

The most frequent response, by far: "Route 1."

Frightening, isn't it?

You know you’re from New Jersey because...

You watched "Mallrats" and said "I've been to that mall!"
At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.
Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.
You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.
You know that the only people that call it "Joisey" are from New York.
You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least one Dunkin' Donuts.
You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges"
You know that it's called "Great Adventure"... not "Six Flags", dammit.
You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
You've eaten at a diner, drunk off your ass, at 3am at least a dozen times.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.
You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn" while driving.
You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.
You once said, "It smells like New York in here,"
In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You have mandatory recycling. Enforced by law.
You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like it.
You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ if the Nets didn't blow,"
You say "water" weird. (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg, wadever)
Even your school made good Italian subs.
You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters and fires, but have never seen a tornado or earthquake.
You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.
You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.
You only go to New York City for day trips.
You've run out of money on the Parkway.
You know where to get the best bagel.
You think the Olive Garden is crap and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.
There are no self serve gas stations and you like it that freakin' way.
You've had sex on the beach, and I'm not talking about the beverage.
You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.
The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or local bar.
Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.
You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hr diners elsewhere in the county.
You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls.
You've seen or been in a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan.
You have or know someone with mafia connections too.
You're related to someone who thinks the New York Jets should be called the New Jersey Jets
You've been to a party in the woods.
You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown.
You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg and Cheese sandwich at 2 a.m.
You don't take shit from no one either.
You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there.
At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook mall.
Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station.
Anything less than three inches of snow ain't shit.
Someone cut you off on the road and you told them to go f**k themself.
You think people from South Jersey talk funny.
You're radioactive and proud of it.

Famous People from New Jersey

BODY MAP

A girl says to her date, "You're in for a real treat. I've been told that I have a body just like New Jersey."

So, her date grabs her waist and asks, "What's this?"

She replies, "This is Middlesex."

He grabs her butt and asks "What's this?

She replies "Freehold."

Then he grabs her breast and asks "What's this?" She replies "Point Pleasant."

Finally, he reaches! between her thighs and says, "I guess this is Cherry Hill?"

"No", She replies, "That's Eatontown."

The guy gets so excited that he pulls down his pants and says, "Welcome to Wildwood!"

Thought for today: You’re from New Jersey? So am I! What exit?

humor jokes video funny New Jersey Garden State

Stumble this!