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Canada

I’ve done a few posts on various states, and one city several times, but an entire nation? OK! I know a lot of Canadian bloggers, so this one’s dedicated to all of them: the Useless Men (Ontario), Canadian Cynic (Ontario), Mortimer’s Mom (Quebec), Saskboy of Abandoned Stuff (Saskatchewan), Walker of Lost Here and Beyond (Ontario), Simply Coll of Colleen’s Corner (Manitoba), Homo Escapeons (Manitoba), Old Guy (Ontario), Gary from Withinsight (British Columbia), the Blue Beaver Beer guys (Alberta), Kipling West of the  Seven Deadly Sinners  (Alberta), and Jack Ruttan (Quebec). I’m sure I’ve left someone out, because I possibly don’t know where you’re from, OK? Forgive me, eh?


I am Canadian

An entertaining cartoon: Canadians for Global Warming.

The Useless Men explain Canada.

The Usless Men take on a dis to Canada.

And the language:
Dear Useless Men,
Follow-up question; why don't yuoz guyz in Canadia spell words the way they're pronounced, like "oot", "aboot" and "agaynst"? Just thought I'd ax.
Mr Incredulous

Canada has scientists, they just need more drama to make an impact. (via Abandoned Stuff)

The Useless Men explain Tim Horton and his donuts.

Beaver (via From the Alamo City)

Saskatoon

(Thanks, Saskboy!)
An American man was riding a train through Canada on his first visit to the country. On his way through the prairies, he fell asleep watching endless crops and awoke in a city. Feeling a little disoriented as he got off the train for a rest stop, he asked someone who appeared to be a local inhabitant where he was.

"Saskatoon, Saskatchewan," replied the local.

"Pardon me," said the American, "but I only speak English."

You Know You’re From Manitoba When...

1. You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
12. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
14. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
15. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
16. You head south to go to your cottage.
17. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
19. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.
20. You find -40C a little chilly.
21. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
22. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
23. You can play road hockey on skates.
24. You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
25. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

I Am Not American -the Arrogant Worms

If you liked that, you’ll also enjoy their song Canada’s Really Big.

Canadian Complaints about Americans

Editor's Note: naturally we don't have enough room to catalog all of them, but here's the top ten.

10. Won't acknowledge enormous cultural contributions of Jim Carrey and Howie Mandel.

9. We're pretty sure they're holding Wayne Gretzky down there against his will.

8. Every time we mention the city "Regina", they won't stop giggling.

7. Incredibly, they only have one word for "snow".

6. In American encyclopedias, Canada often called "North Dakota's gay neighbor".

5. They call it American cheese, even though it was invented by Gordon Lightfoot.

4. They've never even heard of our most popular superhero, Captain Saskatchewan.

3. Two words: "Weird Al".

2. Sick of that gap-toothed looser on "The Late Show with Paul Shaffer".

1. Not enough guys named "Gordie".

Thought for today: In Canada we have enough to do keeping up with two spoken languages without trying to invent slang, so we just go right ahead and use English for literature, Scotch for sermons and American for conversation. -Stephen Leacock

PS: This is the last day to get your entry in for the Living the Dream T-shirt contest -read the details here, and send yours in before midnight!

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Posted on Tuesday, 05.29.07 @ 12:00AM by Registered CommenterMiss Cellania in | Comments9 Comments

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Reader Comments (9)

Two days ago I told someone from Boston that I live in Regina, and he didn't snicker at all.
05.29.07 @ 01:38AM | Unregistered CommenterSaskboy
Don't forget William Shatner, singing mentor to William Hung... ;-)
05.29.07 @ 05:36AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunk
Canada: America, with an 8% discount.
05.29.07 @ 11:34AM | Unregistered CommenterActor212
I always thought I might like to retire in Canada but after reading about the leaves for toilet paper and the trunk of my car as a freezer... I dunno now... maybe Canada just isn't for me!

LOLMAO

Great post Miss C! :)
05.29.07 @ 05:11PM | Unregistered CommenterSuzie-Q
Darned if I know why your site will hardly load in IE...it loads and then tells me it is unable to do so, of course this covers most of the screen, tells me it is aborting (how about that?) and when I click okay everything goes away...I am doing just great through firefox...I have been gone and this has been happening since I have been home...that was yesterday! Anyway...if you like comments, now you have one..
05.29.07 @ 06:47PM | Unregistered CommenterLu
Damn! I just spent an hour looking at Arrogant Worms videos--and sending them to my friends! Very funny!
05.29.07 @ 09:00PM | Unregistered Commenterjoated
Hey - I love your site, I love Canada and I just love the music of the Arrogant Worms. Stay cool Miss Cellania :)
06.03.07 @ 08:37AM | Unregistered CommenterRoshan
Lies, all lies. Why wasn't I consulted on this?

That's "Great post!" in French.
11.28.07 @ 10:33PM | Unregistered Commenterhavril of the north
Because I thought you were dead, Havril.
11.28.07 @ 10:53PM | Unregistered CommenterMiss Cellania

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