Spring means three big things for me: spring cleaning, yard sale, and gardening. These all tie in together, because when you clean up, you get the urge to get rid of all the things you don’t want to clean next year. I also sell tomato and pepper plants at my annual yard sale. And, of course, I have to mow the lawn before the sale. Although I planned it for a month earlier, its monsoon season in Kentucky, and the sale finally happened last Thursday and Friday. I woke up Thursday and it was downpouring. I figured there would be no yard sale, even though I’d advertised it in the local paper. So I went to work at my desk, and heard a commotion on the porch. People were going through my boxes already! I sold a couple hundred dollars worth of furniture before I even unpacked. It was a rousing success. Two days later, I still hadn’t sold that cast-iron bathtub that had been sitting on my porch for a year. After school Friday, the kids talked me into letting them continue the sale while I napped. Danged if they didn’t sell that bathtub while I was asleep!

The title picture was taken in my backyard less than 24 hours before a killing frost destroyed my Wisteria and all my other spring flowers. Oh well.



Michael Jackson’s Neverland Yard Sale

You know it’s time for a yard sale when you notice you have a lot of stuff in the house.

Iowa makes yard sales a community event.

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller -- guaranteed to work." I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.

THE CONVERSATION

A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard sale."

"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," her friend replied.

"Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me to take him to the hospital to have it set."

King of the Cul-de-Sac

I’ve known about Spring Fever all my life. I’ve suffered from it, and I see it in my kids. But this year I have pinpointed exactly what the problem is. Since Daylight Saving Time came so early this year, I’m having to spend the last TWO months of school getting the kids in bed before dark. Not just getting them in bed, but I’ve had to wander the entire neighborhood looking for them! No one should have to go to bed before dark. ‘Tain’t natural.

Start Living Large this Spring! (via Ursi’s Blog)

Another sure sign of spring is the return of the drunken lawnmower driver. (Thanks, Jan!)

ER paid the price for believing in lawn order, because he forgot to scrape his nuts.

The Lawnmower

Little Johnny is having a yard sale.

The local preacher stops by and notices a lawnmower for $15.00 and he buys it.

A week later, the preacher shows up at little Johnny's house and tells him that the mower will not run.

Little Johnny tells the preacher, that it will run but you have to curse at it to get it to start.

The preacher says that he has not said a cross word in over thirty years.

Little Johnny says......"Keep pulling on it.........they will come back to you"

Parmigiano Reggiano (via Everlasting Blort)

Spring Cleaning

You know when it's time to clean the fridge when:
The magnets are abandoning ship.
Your milk carton features an ad for the 1932 World's Fair
You have replaced your refrigerator lightbulb with a bug zapper.
Your Vegetable bin appears to be breathing.
Geraldo Rivera asks to lead an expedition into your fridge.
Your son can't find his science project in the fridge.
Your son's science project is the fridge.
Your freezer contains actual ice from the Ice Age.
Your lunch meat has petrified.

Time to get Organized!

1. Do you make panic runs to the garbage can for fear that someone has thrown away something "important"?
2. Could you feed a family of four for more than two weeks from supplies found inside your sofa?
3. Have you put off purchasing a refrigerator until you can find a self-cleaning model?
4. Have you written to Dow to ask how you can get your Janitor in a Drum out?
5. When you hear the phrase "cleanliness is next to…" do you fill in the blank with "impossible"?
6. Do you own more than 5 sets of keys you had made when the current set was "missing in action"?
7. Is there something growing inside your refrigerator that puts your houseplants to shame?
8. Have you ever put off a diet because you lost the book?
9. Do you put off redecorating the den because you haven't seen the floor in so long that you've forgotten what color the carpeting is?
10. Do you know laundry can reproduce in a hamper?
11. Do you have at least three bags of "stuff to sort later" stashed somewhere in the house?
12. Have you ever lost something in your bedroom, like the bed?
13. When visitors suggest that they'll throw their coats on the bed, do you offer to set up a cot in the hall?
14. Does your storage system consist of 30 boxes marked "miscellaneous"?
15. Have you ever gone to put up the holiday decorations, only to discover that you hadn't taken them down from last year?

Previously on Miss Cellania: Tomatoes, Garden, and Lawn Mowing.

Thought for today: Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!" -Robin Williams

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