Right out of college, I moved in with a roommate who was deathly allergic to dogs and cats. I had spent my school years missing my pets, so I immediately went out and got two aquariums, one for fish, and the other for lizards. The joy of having pets again was short-lived, as I soon realized that you don’t get much out of petting a lizard. The roommate didn’t even like me to take them out of their terrarium. I never got very attached to the critters, so when someone expressed some interest in them, I very generously made them a gift. As soon as my roommate and I parted ways, she started getting allergy shots and adopted a ferret. Now I have a house, with more critters than I know what to do with, including a herd of blue-tailed skinks that I haven’t grown close to, either. I guess some things never change.

Flying Amphibians and Reptiles (via Ursi’s Blog)

Bullfrogs will eat anything. Without fangs or claws, they will manage to consume spiders, scorpions, rodents, and birds, just by opening their big mouths.

Homo Escapeons had a close encounter with a dragon after a few drinks at a cousin’s home.

Snake Blog: NMHerps.

Hurt -Kermit the Frog

Sad Kermit on MySpace.

THE LIZARD AND THE KOALA

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
A koala was sitting up in a gum tree, smoking a joint.

When a little Lizard walked past and looked up and said:

"Hey, Koala! What are you doing?"

The Koala says: "Smoking a joint. Come up and have some."

So the little Lizard climbed up and sat next to the Koala and they burned a few. After awhile, the little Lizard says his mouth was "dry" and he was going to get a drink from the river. But the little Lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river.

 
A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little Lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little Lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The little Lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting, smoking a joint with the Koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while trying to get a drink.


The crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the Koala is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says, "Hey, you!!"

So the Koala looks down at him and says:
"Holy shiiiiiite, dude!! How much water did you drink?"

SNAKE AND FROG

A man went fishing one day.

He looked over the side of his boat and saw a snake with a frog in its mouth.

Feeling sorry for the frog, he reached down, gently took the frog from the snake, and set the frog free.

 But then he felt sorry for the snake. He looked around the boat, but he had no food.

All he had was a bottle of bourbon. So he opened the bottle and gave the snake a few shots.

The snake went off happy, the frog was happy, and the man was happy to have performed such good deeds.

He thought everything was great until about ten minutes passed and he heard something knock against the side of the boat. 

With stunned disbelief, the fisherman looked down and saw the snake was back with two frogs!

ALLIGATOR SHOES

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting. "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own gator!" to which the shopkeeper replied,

"By all means, just watch out for those two good ole boys who are doing the same!"

So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the good ole boys,' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.

Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several gators were already laying. Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"

Flip the Frog in Killing Floor

The story behind this video.

GATOR IN A BAR

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"

"Sure do," replied the bartender.

"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my 'gator."

Previously on Miss Cellania: Frogs

Thought for today:  I've always liked reptiles. I used to see the universe as a mammoth snake, and I used to see all the people and objects, landscapes, as little pictures in the facets of their scales. I think peristaltic motion is the basic life movement. Swallowing. -Jim Morrison

humor jokes video funny games reptiles amphibians frog snake lizard

Stumble this!