Miss Cellania

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Overheard

And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« April 7 Links | Main | Fishing Trip »
Friday
06Apr2007

Parking Lot

 
One of these days, someone will do an analysis on how much gas is wasted while people go round and round the parking lot, looking for a space a little closer to the door. Even the door of the exercise club. Ha! But parking is serious business in a city, where there are few parking lots and any space at all is like the Holy Grail. When someone messes up the good fortune of finding a space by parking crookedly or otherwise messing up two spaces, it could mean war (or at least serious disrespect). Don’t let this happen to you!

 
If Only It Were This Easy!

Rush Hour is a game where you try to get your vehicle out of a crowded parking lot by moving other vehicles around. None can turn, since they are stuck on the grid, so its like a sliding puzzle game. If you enjoy this video, you can try an online online version here.   (via Metafilter)

At the website You Park Like An Asshole, you can download coupons to leave on cars that are parked like... assholes. They are also asking for your photos for their bad parking gallery. (Thanks, Carl!)

A time-lapse video of a busy parking lot.

Chronic illegal parkers suffer from Parking -Zones Disease.

Although Latvia is not one of the smallest nations in the world, it’s pretty small. There, car owners can choose whatever they want to put on their liscence plates, as long as they can pay for the printing. English Russia has a collection of cool plates spotted around the country. (via the Presurfer)

Geek Liscence Plates.

It takes this woman four minutes to realize her vehicle is not going to fit in this parking space. I’m sure this would be more entertaining if I understood Italian snark and swearing. (via the Presurfer)

Too bad she didn’t try this!

From Korea: Here’s how to get a lot of cars stored away in a parking garage.

This is in Japan, but I don’t know what city. Wherever it is, you DON’T want to be towed there! (audio NSFW)

This girl is having a bit of trouble gassing up.  (via Arbroath)

MANHATTAN

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Ten days later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for ten days and pay only $15.40?

WINTER PARKING

(via Bits and Pieces)
This guy drives up to his house and the place where he usually parks is full of snow. So, he parks in a nearby parking lot and walks back home to shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house.

It takes hours to shovel, but finally done, he walks back to the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well, upset.

What most people do is write nasty notes, etc. and place them on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Police sometimes get involved, however, when the individual vents his wrath in somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been slashed over this.

So, this guy decides to get creative. Instead of doing the usual nasty note, he got out his garden hose and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, very thoroughly. The water of course froze solid. When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a car-sized popsicle.

The note on the car read, "You want the space? Here. It's yours until spring!"

Previously on Miss Cellania: Parking

Thought for today: You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

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Reader Comments (8)

Personally, I use the 007 Parking Guarantor by Bonco; granted, my car isn't as fancy as an Astin Martin, but the resulting complete and total removal of the obstructing vehicle that allows me to park in its' place, is just as effective.
04.06.07 @ 01:04AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
When they announced that NYC was bidding for the 2012 Olympics, I mentioned to a friend who was on the organizing committee that the demonstration sport ought to be parallel parking in midtown Manhattan during rush hour on a Friday.

He pointed out that a demonstration sport should be one the host country can easily win, and Europeans would bring over their micromachines...

Skunk...."switch to targeting computer"?
04.06.07 @ 08:17AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Great post!
Thanks for the laughs!
Happy Easter!
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy
04.06.07 @ 10:08AM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
Hi Miss C. now that's a closing line; The note on the car read, "You want the space? Here. It's yours until spring!"
Have a happy Easter.
04.06.07 @ 11:17AM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
I think a few might try that 'Rolls Royce in Manhattan' idea!

Happy Easter, Miss C!
04.06.07 @ 01:26PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
I HATE it when I see one car taking up two spaces. It's usually a new, shiny sportscar.

I'll usually key the damn thing.
04.06.07 @ 06:10PM | Unregistered CommenterJoe the Troll
Thank you so much for the youparklikeanasshole link. Have just the household (in our neighbourhood) I can use 3 of these stickers for this weekend.
04.07.07 @ 05:58AM | Unregistered CommenterPete Aldin
I love shiny, new sports cars! u'll "usually key the damn thing"... what a hater!
05.07.07 @ 08:34AM | Unregistered CommenterEffie

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