Miss Cellania

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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Letters and Words | Main | Wedding Weirdness »
Thursday
26Apr2007

Georgia

A lot of folks think of Georgia as that long stretch between wherever they came from and Florida. It is, but its also much more. You can track Georgia by the produce billboards, peaches, pecans, watermelons, and smack dab in the middle is this huge city you don’t want to drive through at rush hour. But I always seem to. Why, it takes about a day and half to drive from one side to the other! If you can stop and stay awhile, Atlanta is a charming city. You’ll get lost, no doubt, but the natives make it a pleasant experience.


 
The Devil Went Down to Georgia -Primus

Atlanta has been named as the Worst City to Sleep In.

Also, the Worst City for Asthma Sufferers. (Thanks, Ed!)

You Know You're From Georgia When...

ATLANTA

(Thanks, Kirby!)
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta , who has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta ...

Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.

All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."

Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard

Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all they drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.

Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.

The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.

A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawns duh LEE-on".

The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk,bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta that has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."

Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going "North" or "South". The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop". If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.

Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.

The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.

There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).

Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"  (Thanks,, Kirby!)

PEACHES

A Georgia farmer was selling his peaches door to door.  He knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something lady dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.

He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches? "

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked,"Are they as firm as this?"

He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.

Then the lady unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.

The lady asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"

Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn and now I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."

Georgia on my Mind

Thought for today: My version of "Georgia" became the state song of Georgia. That was a big thing for me, man. It really touched me. Here is a state that used to lynch people like me suddenly declaring my version of a song as its state song. That is touching. -Ray Charles

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Reader Comments (14)

Excluding the miserable Atlanta Airport, I haven't been through Georgia for years. Love Ray Charles' version of the song.
04.26.07 @ 05:27AM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
Gee, Atlanta traffic sounds JUST like Kansas City - LOL!

Thanks for the laughs, darlin'! Great, as always!
04.26.07 @ 09:41AM | Unregistered CommenterMarti
i love my city and this post. :)
04.26.07 @ 09:46AM | Unregistered Commentercornpone
My dad was from GA, and I visited there occasionally as a young kid, before all the population boom, etc. As a teenager I hitchhiked through there a few times. Also hitchhiked thru in my early twenties. Next month I am going to Florida (from NC) and am flying.
04.26.07 @ 11:51AM | Unregistered CommenterEd
btw, loved your post
04.26.07 @ 11:52AM | Unregistered CommenterEd
RIP Our dear Ray!!!
04.26.07 @ 11:54AM | Unregistered CommenterLu
Now I've got Georgia on my mind!
04.26.07 @ 02:32PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
Cool website and nice post! ;)
04.26.07 @ 02:41PM | Unregistered CommenterSuzie-Q
This is great! I'm from Atlanta, and I can attest to the mind-boggling amount of traffic that goes through Hartsfield. When I moved to Houston (crap), I thought there was a holiday or something because there were nowhere near as many people! Also, the train at the Houston airport is a joke. It's like an amusement park ride without dips or hills. Keep it up!
04.26.07 @ 03:21PM | Unregistered Commenterwingnut
Atlanta....just a place to keep I-85 from divorcing I-20.

Let's Go Mets!
04.26.07 @ 03:38PM | Unregistered CommenterActor212
@Marti - Actually, when I was in Kansas City (which is a very nice city, BTW, except for the utter lack of Sweet Iced Tea) the traffic frightened me more - I've never seen so many people in such a hurry to go nowhere in my life. In Atlanta there is (usually) too much traffic for people to go that fast.

@Actor212 - Yes, I'm sure that's why so many Northerners have moved here over the past 30 years. NYC, a fine place to visit, a better place to leave.

Go Braves!
04.26.07 @ 04:32PM | Unregistered CommenterNeonCat
Y'all posted a goodun thar dincha.
04.26.07 @ 08:03PM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
Atlanta is a nasty city. Only go there if you want to get stabbed or pistol whipped.
04.27.07 @ 09:52PM | Unregistered CommenterSenor
I've never been to 'Hotlanta." Not sure I want to.
04.28.07 @ 04:43PM | Unregistered CommenterJacq

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