Georgia
Thursday, 04.26.07 @ 12:03AM 
A lot of folks think of Georgia as that long stretch between wherever they came from and Florida. It is, but its also much more. You can track Georgia by the produce billboards, peaches, pecans, watermelons, and smack dab in the middle is this huge city you don’t want to drive through at rush hour. But I always seem to. Why, it takes about a day and half to drive from one side to the other! If you can stop and stay awhile, Atlanta is a charming city. You’ll get lost, no doubt, but the natives make it a pleasant experience.
The Devil Went Down to Georgia -Primus
Atlanta has been named as the Worst City to Sleep In.
Also, the Worst City for Asthma Sufferers. (Thanks, Ed!)
You Know You're From Georgia When...
ATLANTA
(Thanks, Kirby!)
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta , who has ever lived in Atlanta, has ever visited Atlanta ...
Atlanta is composed mostly of one-way streets. The only way to get out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville, South Carolina.
All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except in Cobb County, all directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end and is not to be confused with:
Peachtree Circle
Peachtree Place
Peachtree Lane
Peachtree Road
Peachtree Parkway
Peachtree Run
Peachtree Terrace
Peachtree Avenue
Peachtree Commons
Peachtree Battle
Peachtree Corners
New Peachtree
Old Peachtree
West Peachtree
Peachtree-Dunwoody
Peachtree-Chamblee
Peachtree Industrial Boulevard
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all they drink there, so don't ask for any other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola.
Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport is 32 miles away from the Main concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
The 8am rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5pm rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon and lasts through 2am Saturday.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue , so do not attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pawns duh LEE-on".
The falling of one raindrop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules. If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a week. All grocery stores will be sold out of milk,bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
I-285, the loop that encircles Atlanta that has a posted speed limit of 55 mph (but you have to maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as "The Watermelon 500."
Don't believe the directional markers on highways. I-285 is marked "East" and "West" but you may be going "North" or "South". The locals identify the direction by referring to the "Inner Loop" and the "Outer Loop". If you travel on Hwy 92 North, you will actually be going southeast.
Never buy a ladder or mattress in Atlanta. Just go to one of the interstates and you will soon find one in the middle of the road.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 live in Georgia , plus a couple no one has seen before.
If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to the store).
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2 years old.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?" (Thanks,, Kirby!)
PEACHES
A Georgia farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something lady dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.
He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches? "
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked,"Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then the lady unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
The lady asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn and now I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."
Georgia on my Mind
Thought for today: My version of "Georgia" became the state song of Georgia. That was a big thing for me, man. It really touched me. Here is a state that used to lynch people like me suddenly declaring my version of a song as its state song. That is touching. -Ray Charles
humor links video funny Peachtree South Georgia Atlanta peach
Stumble this! 
Reader Comments (14)
Thanks for the laughs, darlin'! Great, as always!
Let's Go Mets!
@Actor212 - Yes, I'm sure that's why so many Northerners have moved here over the past 30 years. NYC, a fine place to visit, a better place to leave.
Go Braves!