Teachers
Tuesday, 04.24.07 @ 12:04AM 
This one’s for the teachers in the Blogosphere, and there are plenty of them. NYC Educator deals with issues way beyond what non-teachers are even aware of (but should be). No Early Bird teaches a class full of first graders every day, then goes home to almost as many kids of her own. Jules at Theater of the Absurd is finishing up her student teaching as we speak. There are tons of teacher blogs. And I’m sure there are plenty of teachers that I read everyday that I’ve left out... some are teachers who never write about work. But this one’s for you anyway.
This NTU professor in Singapore shares some of the comments on his feedback forms.
CASH INCENTIVE
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out.
This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
You’d think by high school, kids would check to see if a class is “advanced” before they sign up for it. But NOooo!
Some teachers could use a refresher course. This is the kind of thing I’d get in trouble for at school. In fact, this is exactly the kind of thing that cost me the Valedictorian title. (via Dump Trumpet)
Some mathematics for parents.
How delightful to get your test scored and receive this back! I hope he got a good score.
Papers that give teachers headaches (and laughs).
OPENING DAY
(via Bits and Pieces)
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?", she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?
"No," said the little boy..."It's a puppy!"
REAL TEACHERS
(via Old Horsetail Snake)
Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Costco.
Real teachers will eat anything left in the teachers' lounge.
Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of nine weeks. Grading in church is permissible.
Real teachers know that sixth graders get hormones from Santa at Christmas.
Real teachers cheer when they learn that April 1 does not fall on a school day.
Real teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.
Real teachers never sit down without first checking the seat of the chair.
Real teachers are written up in medical journals for the size and elasticity of their bladders.
Real teachers have been timed gulping down lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.
Real teachers can predict exactly which parents will appear at an open house.
Real teachers understand the importance of making sure every kid gets a valentine.
Previously on Miss Cellania: School Children and Math Teacher
Thought for today: A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. ~Henry Brooks Adams
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Reader Comments (4)
I know you like to collect jokes, so help yourself if like and haven't heard them.
Every thing I ever did at school in one small panel.
....oh, except the of lighting small fires of course.
....and then there was the penguin incident I guess.
....the woodshop thing lingers in the memory, but Johnny Peterson did get it sewn back on ...eventually.
other than that , schoold days to a tee.
Why did I ever leave ?
...another teaching job I guess.