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« Psychiatry | Main | Oldsters »
Tuesday
Apr172007

Star Trek: The Search for Sanity

It's a fantasy come true. Read about how I got stranded on a deserted island with Jean-Luc Picard! No, really! Captain Picard runs a tight ship, or about as tight as it gets in the Blogosphere, which is kinda like an atmosphere, except different. Actually, it’s nothing like that, but (as Skunkfeathers would say) I digress. No one knows more about the crew of the Enterprise and their personalities. His journal records the day-to-day adventures and absurdities of the ST:TNG crew and their friends, fans, and foes. You should make it a regular stop in your surfing.


 

You always wanted to see a red shirt fight back, right? Here ‘tis! Robot Chicken presents Star Trek Away Team.

The first season of the orginal Star Trek TV series is now available on iTunes, for just $1.99 an episode, or $56.99 for all of season one.

I was researching a religion assignment for another site when I came across The Church of Spock of Latter-Day Science Officers.

Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other

If you really want to explore more of the fanfiction “relationship” between Kirk and Spock, you’ll find a collection of material ar the All-Ages Kirk/Spock Archive. Some of this might be NSFW; I have’t looked at much of it. (via Everlasting Blort)

The Klingon Language Institute.

Jyrki Kasvi is a Finnish Parliament member, representing the Green League party. His website is available in several languages, including Klingon. "Some have thought it is blasphemy to mix politics and Klingon," said Jyrki Kasvi, an ardent Trekkie. "Others say it is good if politicians can laugh at themselves." Here's Kasvi’s website in Finnish, English, Swedish, and the Klingon version.

How to make a Starship Enterprise out of a floppy disc. Impress your kids with this cute recycling project! Although there aren’t many floppy discs still around, you might find some in your attic. (via Dump Trumpet) Then if you’ve got another floppy, make a Klingon Bird of Prey!


  Star Trekkin` Three words: WTF? Who ever created this, I want what they`re o

Take the quiz: Spock or Not? (via Cynical-C)

The Pizza Guy goes where no man has gone before.

Gene Rodenberry was inspired by real aliens to create Star Trek!

Iraqis On Star Trek

The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN was walking down the hallway and bumped into President Bush.

Hoping to break the ice with an innocuous comment, the ambassador quickly said, "Respectfully, sir. I have a question about what I’ve seen in America."

Politely, President Bush answered, "If I can help explain things to you, please let me know."

The Iraqi whispered. "My little girl watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in this show, there’s Chekov who is a Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Sulu who is Chinese… but there aren't any Iraqis. Why aren’t there any Iraqis on Star Trek?".

President Bush whispered back to the ambassador, "It's because Star Trek takes place in the future."

GROANERS

Question: Where do Star Trek fans go to lift weights?
Answer: The "He's dead, Gym"!

Question: How many ears does Picard have?
Answer: Three. A right ear. A left ear. And a final front ear.

Question: What did Picard say as Data struggled to repair the Marclosian Stitching Machine?
Answer: "Make it sew."

Question: What did the first officer answer when Picard asked "Why did you let Troi win at poker?"
Answer: "Because I Riker."

Question: What did the blonde Klingon say?
Answer: "It was a good day to dye."

Question: What is Thomas Riker's dating philosophy?
Answer: "If at first you don't succeed, try Troi again."

Question: What do you get if you cross a borg with a black magic marker?
Answer: A borg with a big black X on it.

Question:  What did Worf say when small ice asteroids began hitting the Enterprise hull?
Answer:  "Captain, we are being hailed."

Question: Why are Beverly Crusher, Worf, and Deanna Troi similar?
Answer: Because one's a Doc, one's a Worf, and one's a Marina.

Question: Did you hear about the singing contest for young men at Starfleet Academy?
Answer: It's called the Kirk Tenor Prize.

Question: How many of the Enterprise's senior officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: All of them. One to screw it in, and the rest to debate the moral implications.

Question: What did LaForge say when his girlfriend asked him what to wear on their date?
Answer: "I'm BLIND!"

Question: What did Lore use to kill Data's cat?
Answer:Spot remover.

Question: What do you call it when that Strategic Operations Officer on DS9 runs as fast as he can?
Answer: Worf Speed.

Question: What did the senior staff of DS9 sing when Kira was packing to leave  at the beginning of "The Circle"?
Answer: Nana, Nana . . . Nana, Nana . . . Hey, hey, hey, goodbye!

Question: Did you hear that the crew of the Enterprise is getting married?
Answer: They have engaged the Borg.

Question: Did you hear that Jonathan Frakes is starring in a remake of an old James Bond movie?
Answer: It's called Moonriker.

Question: How many TOS landing party members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but the extra red-shirt will die in the attempt.

Question: How many Voyager crew members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: However many it takes, you can be sure a shuttlecraft will be destroyed during the attempt.

Previously on Miss Cellania:
Star Trek
Star Trek: The Next Post
Star Trek: The Undiscovered Post
Star Trek: Mashups and Fantasies

Thought for today: Live life like you're gonna die. Because you're gonna. — William Shatner

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Reader Comments (11)

HA! Man there were a lot of groaners in the joke department bu I laughed anyway!

Have you ever seen how Bill Shatner Changed The World!?Canada's most treasured Son did a cool show on how so many of our inventions were inspired by Star Trek..it was weird and funny. I love the Shatman because he made a careeer out of fromage and that's why people adore him.

At his Hollywood Roast one of the speakers said "Bill, I have a bet with someone and I need you to do something..(he whips out a paper bag and says)..I need to see if you can Act your way out of this!"
04.17.07 @ 01:00AM | Unregistered Commenterhomo escapeons
Don't tell me...the cat was telling those puns, and that's why Capt. Picard was expressing his angst in the chair...
04.17.07 @ 05:34AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
I haven't adjusted yet to the contrast between William Shatner's Kirk character and the Denny Crane character (which I think is hilarious!) in Boston Legal!
04.17.07 @ 05:54AM | Unregistered CommenterCarlos
Just wanted to say "Hi" and thanks for the laughs...

e
04.17.07 @ 10:31AM | Unregistered Commentere
"Wesistance is futiwe. Pwepare to be assimiwated. Huh huh huh." -- Elmer of Borg.
04.17.07 @ 10:34AM | Unregistered CommenterActor212
What is Spock doing with that cigarette? What is Uhura up to?

Thanks for the plug, Miss C!
04.17.07 @ 03:47PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
Miss C, that was by far the best Star Trek compilation I've ever seen!!!! LOVED IT!!!
04.17.07 @ 04:43PM | Unregistered CommenterJacq
Never have I gggg...rrrr....oooo....aaaa....nnnn....eeee....dddd so much.
04.17.07 @ 06:40PM | Unregistered Commenterold horsetail snake
I'll refrain from mentioning anything about the Captain's Log.

:D
04.18.07 @ 05:10PM | Unregistered CommenterMooncity
Very funny !
12.19.07 @ 07:45PM | Unregistered CommenterLuis
I loved your on Iraqis On Star Trek. The Klingon with the sign that says Will not eat you for food is my husbad, Col. Amar Koloth. It's an honor being on your website.
10.24.10 @ 12:26PM | Unregistered CommenterMistress Koloth

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