April 14 Links
Thanks to everyone who voted for me and my buds for the Best of Blogs! I think voting runs through today. I think. They put up an undated post that says something to the effect of "today's votes won't count," which has been up about a week, so they probably aren't getting a lot of votes. Someone isn't paying attention. Next up, the Blogger’s Choice Awards. Vote for me for Best Humor Blog at this link, and vote for YesButNoButYes for Best Pop Culture Blog by going to this link. And Simply Left Behind for Best Political Blog at this link. Then vote for JB, the Lazy Blogger, for Best Travel Blog at this link.
Also, thanks to Chris at Cynical-C (who looks nothing like Mark Twain) who recommended my various blogs to his readers while he takes a bit of time off. He compared me to the Jamaican family on the TV show Living Color who had ten, twelve, or more jobs each. Sometimes I feel that way, too!
Pregnancy Test
The 15 Strangest Coincidences in World History.
When contextual ads go wrong. (Thanks, Bill!)
Michael Jackson’s robot designs. I had some really good submissions!
Wikis Gone Wild! Some strange Wikipedia knockoffs.
It Ain’t Easy Being Geisha.
| Your Brain is Orange |
 |
Five reasons George Bush isn’t as stupid as you think. (via Marked Hoosier)
Get Out Of My Bed!
The Belt Flip. For young people only.
BARGAIN
(Thanks, Phil!)
A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a buck a day! The day before he’s to check out, he heads out to play a last round and stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his room. When he’s checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees: Golf: $1.00. Dinner: $1.00. Room: $1.00. Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00 ! He asks the Manager, “What is this all about? Everything is supposed to cost one dollar, and you charged me three thousand for three golf balls?”
"I’m sorry, sir,” said the manager, “but you didn’t read the fine print in our promotional brochure. That’s what our golf balls cost.”
“Well,” said the man, ” If I wanted to spend that kind of money, I could’ve gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a thousand dollars a day for a room. At least I would’ve known what I was paying for!”
“That’s right, sir, you could have,” said the manager. “Over there they get you by the room. Over here we get you by the balls!”
Around the Blogosphere: Saw Lady plays a musical saw in the New York subways. She’s also performed with orchestras all over the world. And she has a blog. Say No To Crack has some new hand-fart tunes for your enjoyment. Mr. Joe Blog has published a “Greatest Hits” post, with his best jokes. A story that makes you feel better about the human race. And Woody Woodruff let me know that April 15-21 is Cowboy Poetry Week! Drop by and read some of his poems.
Strange air fresheners. (Thanks, Jan!)
Take the TV Theme Song Challenge from Mental Floss.
How to build a Time Machine. (via the Presurfer)
Now, THAT’s a long cat! (via Grow-A-Brain)
I found a file of links that I picked up a couple of years ago and never published! Here’s one strantge bit of amusement called Cubes.
Bloons. See how many you can pop! (via Ursi’s Blog)
Viacom asked YouTube to pull the Man of 100 Voices video, even though it wasn’t their video. They objected to Flash JMG doing impressions of their characters. Here is his response.
New Computer Viruses
(via Bits and Pieces)
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.
AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.
PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:>.
POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism.”
RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it
requires you to first see a counsellor about possible alternatives.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error.)
TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints “Oh no you don’t” whenever you choose “Abort” from the “Abort” “Retry” “Fail” message.
TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.
ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service
stations across rural America.
SEARS VIRUS: Your data wont appear unless you buy new cables, power supply and a set of shocks.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.
STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
Thought for today: Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision. - Oscar Levant
Stumble this! 
Miss Cellania
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Reader Comments (6)
"You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time." (does that mean not a productive state?)
"You truly see things as how they are." (yeah, messed up.)
"You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life." (what they forgot to say was the part about AFTER you're done with your thinking, you need to stay away from sharp objects.) oh, boy, miss c, you really should post some numbers to some therapists with this one.
I have however voted and nominated all my friends for them and will continue to do so...
Great posts! I had some catch up reading to do here.
I left a message for you on my April 12th post.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one
Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic.
You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense.
Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries.
You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.
... I've GOT to have that t-shirt up there. Adorable.
Even so, what's tolerated with little fuss or moral hand-wringing in Japan remains striking. Hiro Fujiwara, a man in his 30s who helped produce pornographic videos before manning his parents' noodle stand in an Osaka neighborhood, tells that "pornography is sort of seen as a good outlet for men, a sign of a healthy man, like drinking a lot of alcohol." His friend, Kazuyo, a woman in her mid-20s, concurs, adding that "women don't mind so much because it means the man is normal. He watches when he is alone."
Meanwhile, the US Supreme Court rejected on Tuesday a constitutional challenge to a law in Alabama that makes it a crime to sell sex toys. Texas and Georgia also have laws that restrict the distribution of sex toys.