Is it a sin to tell a lie? Some say yes, others say not always. And that’s just the Christians; there are philosophies all over the spectrum.  The truth (haha) is that everyone lies. A lot of lying makes no difference in the grand scheme of things. A white lie is designed to spare someone’s feelings. Its better to lie about having to visit Grandma than to truthfully admit you don’t want to go to your classmate’s stupid party. There’s no good to come of telling a co-worker her new hair color honestly sucks.

Maybe the real judgement on lying is who gets hurt by a lie. Bill Clinton (and you knew this would come up) lied when he said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” And it hurt one person. Monica Lewinsky’s feelings were really hurt by that. It was a lie, but not quite on par with, say, creative auditing that embezzled millions of dollars and ruined the pensions of thousands of low-level employees. Or manipulating facts to justify a pre-emptive war. I’m just sayin’.

People for the Advancement of White Lies is a marketing site for the new Richard Gere Movie, The Hoax. You remember Clifford Irving, who wrote Howard Hugh’s fake biography, don’t you? Gere plays him in the movie version. (Thanks, Chris!)

The Master of the Tall Tale: Baron Von Münchhausen.

The Master of the Hoax: P.T.Barnum.

Liar, Liar! Jules wrote about the men she meets. Here’s part one and part two.

How to tell when someone is lying to you. (via Look At This)

Ten Lies about Iraq.

Enough white lies to ice a wedding cake! Who is the best liar here?

Rodney Carrington tells it like it is. (via File It Under)

THE CONTEST

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

THE THIMBLE

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" 

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in
making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you   crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Johnny Depp.

"Is this your  husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord  was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The seamstress replied, "Oh,  forgive me, my Lord.  It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had  said 'no' to Johnny Depp, you would have come up with George Clooney.  Then  if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband.  Had I then  said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.  Lord, I'm not in  the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands,  so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to Johnny Depp."

And so the Lord let her keep  him.

The moral of this story is:  Whenever a woman lies, it's for a  good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That's our  story, and we're sticking to it.

(Well, what would YOU have done?)

HEAVEN’S CLOCKS

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh,"said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Girls Lie, Too -Terry Clark

Thought for today: A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.

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