About three years ago, I inherited six cases of beer. I don’t like the taste of beer, and I only drink on social occasions (which I don’t have), so why keep it? The plan was to use it for gifts, always a good tip for people (meaning men) who help out a family of females. As it turns out, those helpful volunteers never showed, so I have a bunch of beer I am told is too old to drink. There should be some way to recycle old beer, possibly to enrich the compost heap. Do you have any better ideas?

Eulogy for a Fallen Beer

The Beer Drinker’s Dictionary. (via Bits and Pieces)

The Top Ten Beer Myths.

32 Things You Can Do With Beer. (via J-Walk Blog)

The Beer Advocate.  

You Are Corona

You don't drink for the love of beer. You drink to get drunk. You prefer a very light, very smooth beer. A beer that's hardly a beer at all. And while you don’t like beer, prefering Southern Comfort, you like the feeling of being a little tipsy. You drink early and often. Sometimes with friends. Sometimes alone. All the party needs is a little Miss Cellania!

 

The Washington Post is having their own version of March Madness called Beer Madness. Check out the brackets. (via I Quit for LIJIT)

Some Guiness World Records were discarded from the official version, due to fear of litigation. Because they don’t want people to try and break these records. You guessed it, they are drinking records.

Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof: How NOT to act if you are ever arrested for DUI. (via Gorilla Mask)

For further study, your professor of Beer Science is at UC Davis.

Opening a Beer with a Helicopter

Aussie Beer

(Thanks, Phil!)
 What is an Australian's favorite beverage ? .........Aussie BEER of course. Australian's love their Beer so much they have developed a glossary of affectionate terms to describe "the golden amber", "the liquid gold", " the cold gold" or the "amber refreshment".

If you're "having a few beers" you might drink it out of a can or glass. Cans of beer are most common in Australia and contain 375ml /12 oz. Cans may be referred to as "tinnies", "tubes" or "coldies". Small short (375ml) bottles are called "stubbies". Large "oil cans" like those sold with Fosters in the US are rare in Oz but "big bottles" holding 750 ml are an old favorite for taking to Aussie parties, barbecues and "pissups".

The place where "the blokes go to down a few" is at the "Pub" (Public House). Pubs are Hotels found in every town throughout Australia. The Pubs are owned by the Breweries and were originally designed to provide food, beverage and accommodation for weary overland travelers. Besides "Pub", Hotels are sometimes referred to as "the rubbity dub" (rhymes with Pub), "the Poison Shop" or "the Boozer"

Each Pub has separate areas for drinking such as the "Public Bar", the haven for the thirsty beer drinking workMAN to "belly up".(You won't win any friends if you take a lady into the Public Bar.) Social drinking especially with the ladies is done in the "Saloon or Lounge Bar" and many Pubs have "Beer Gardens" for outdoor drinking at tables.

Beer here is imbibed in glasses pulled from kegs. Beer is ordered in "Middy" sized glasses (285 ml or 10oz) or "Schooners" (425 ml or 15 oz). Rarely does one ask for a "Ponie" (150ml,5oz). If you do you run the risk of being called "a woos (rhymes with puss)", "a wowser" or "a piker" definitely not a MAN.

As for Beer Brands, in Sydney, Pubs serve mostly beer from Carlton United Breweries such as Fosters or the more popular Victoria Bitter "Vicky Bitter" or our favorite Reschs, and from Toohey's Brewery there's Toohey's New, Red and Old (dark) beer. Light Beer ("unleaded") is also available.

"A Shout" is a round of beers usually paid for by one member of the party. Each person takes turn "shouting a round of beers" paying for them at the time of delivery. (there is no divvying up a Bar Tab). Whatever you do don't risk the disgrace of being called "a Bludger" or worse if you don't shout a round when it's your turn. A few other pointers - Never insist on paying for all the rounds it's frowned upon, and never ever over Tip. (another topic) 

Too much beer may result in a drunk or inebriated condition. Many expressions refer to this condition such as "he's Chockers" (chock a block full), or "he's Elephants" (Elephants trunk,drunk). Other more mundane words include "loaded", "rotten","pissed","smashed", "stonkers", "stinko" "well under" or "zonked". Some of the more colorful expressions for being under the weather include "full as a goog","pissed as a parrot", "snakes hissed" or "shot full of holes". Under these conditions you might have to throw up. Common coloquial terms to describe this indignant act might include "chunder", "spew" or "yodel". Descriptive expressions include "a liquid laugh","a technicolor yawn" or "praying at the porcelain altar".

Of course we dont advocate overdrinking and just as  hefty penalties and fines are enforced if you "Drink and Drive "Well Under" Downunder".

So enjoy a few Beers at the "Rubbity", Club, Barbie or other social events with the "blokes and shelias" but remember don't over do it.

Drinking Time! (via Mental Floss) Stay with it; the second half is the good part.

Beer Bellies

1. Beer bellies are cool, and a good one will keep Snobbish girls from pestering you.

2. A good one can double as a TV tray for chips and beer  

3. It is a great way to meet cute Cardiologists.   

4. Beer bellies have a lot room for more tattoos when your arms and back are full.   

5. The belly button can store up to eight one dollar coins for the parking meter.

6. Big beer bellies make the best waves and splashes when you do belly flops in the pond.   

7. And with a big beer belly, there is more of to love.

 

 

 

The Beer Festival

After the North American Beer Festival, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Molson sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask, "Why aren't you drinking a Molson's?"

 The Molson president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

Previously on Miss Cellania: Beer and Beer Technique

Thought for today: Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin

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