People try to say nice things about me, and I appreciate it, but sometimes it just comes out screwy. It’s happened again, this time courtesy of RockyJay.

Just the other day I took a look at my MySpace friends...
Pornstars, beautiful blondes, chicks with great booties, more pornstars, girls with big tits, even more porn stars and... Miss Cellania.
Go figure?

Tuxedo Travels. Heath Buck and Douglas Campbell are going to travel overland from Hong Kong to London wearing Tuxedos. The going-away party is March 31st, the trip begins on April Fool’s Day. They are looking for donations and places to stay along the way. See their MySpace page. (via Grow-A-Brain)

There are a couple of new widgets in the sidebar here. One is a new search tool from Lijit from which you can search this site plus the other sites I write for, and my blogroll. The other is a music player from Finetune. I collected 45 songs free, and I find myself keeping a window open on this site while I do other things, just so I can listen to the music. You can listen to my favorites, or get your own!

Speaking of sidebars, I was surprised and tickled to see a button for my posts in the sidebar at Mental Floss! Complete with the Groucho Glasses logo, no less. Thanks!

Famous Pairs. Of pears. (via Dump Trumpet)

You play a what? Musical instruments made from whatever is laying around.

A tribute to Larry “Bud” Melman.

Best protest sign ever.

Recursive photography.

An amazing Rube Goldberg contraption that takes advantage of slinkies, magnets, candles, waterwheels, slingshots, and all the other things you want to see in such a video. See others here.

The Aniboom EyeDoll contest is heating up. See some of the submissions here. Still not too late to enter!

A cat who can pronounce his own name!

Bonjour Vietnam is a music slideshow featuring stunning pictures of Vietnam by photographers Hoang Nhiem, Doan Duc Minh, Phan Hong Hai and others. (via Grow-A-Brain)

3,977 panties, 355 bras and 10 pairs of stockings were confiscated at the home of 54-year-old Shigeo Kodama in Tokyo. He is a construction worker, and “had no trouble getting up to the second floor of apartment buildings," according to police, who believe the underwear thefts continued over a period of six years.

If you think YOU’RE family is dysfunctional, read about Walker’s in-laws.

The Eiffel Tower: “a truly tragic street lamp”.

Where Are They Now: Porn Stars Volume Three.

LEMON SQUEEZING

(via Jokes and Stuff)
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.

But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?"

The man replied "I work for the IRS."

Pretty good Hillary impersonation.

The Top 20 Portable Toilet Company Names. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Aerial photos of Africa.

The Top 15 Unintentionally Funny Comic Panels.

Rotate is a game that uses Flickr photos as puzzles. You have to click on the parts to rotate them until they make sense. You are timed. Then you can continue to Rotate II which is more conventional and more challenging. (via b3ta)

Geek summer movie roundup.

Excuse me! My hands are full and I’ve dropped my keys down in my bra. Can you help?  Guess how many offered to hold her bags for her. So to speak.

Caught in the act. This couldn't be any funnier if I understood French. Warning: potty humor.

Everybody Panic! I found this game addicting. Pretty self-explanatory, once you get started. (Thanks, Linda!)

America’s Ten Horniest Presidents. (via Gorilla Mask)

HELGA

(Thanks, Phil!)
Helga hung the wash out to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downstairs to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hot," she mused to herself as she walked down Main street. She passed by a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?" so she walked in and took a seat at the bar.

The bartender came up and asked her what she would like to drink. "Ya know," Helga said, "it is so hot I tink I'll have myself zee cold beer."

The bartender asked, "Anheuser Busch?"

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks, und how's yer pecker?"

Plan 9 from Outer Space (via Cynical-C)

Plus a gallery of stills from the movie.

Thought for today: I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

humor jokes video funny games

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