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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

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« March 24 Links | Main | Teeth »
Friday
23Mar2007

Squirrels Gone Bad

It’s enough to give you nightmares. Or at least the Willies, which is almost as bad as the heebie-jeebies. Consider how we’ve treated squirrels. We hunt them, eat them, fling them, erect barriers against them, exterminate them, and make fun of them on the web. I’ve been guilty of at least the last one. The most common Google search term that brings people to this site is “drunk squirrel”. How can they help but have revenge on their puny little minds? Individual acts of  warfare by squirrels against humans have already begun. Sooner or later, they are going to band together. When that happens, mankind is doomed.


Drunk Squirrel (va Bits and Pieces)

See this video again with the squirrel’s commentary dubbed in. NSFW! (via b3ta)

Many tales of squirrels gone bad.

Burglar squirrel ransacks house.

The Useless Men have advice for dealing with troublesome squirrels.

Musical ode to a pet squirrel.

Disco Squirrels.

This squirrel has nuts.

Squirrel attacks a deer!

What is it? A bald squirrel? Why? (via Arbroath)

Scary Squirrel World Travel Alerts. So you’ll know ahead of time where the evil squirrels lurk.

Here’s a music video starring a squirrel! Lets all dance!

See Pikku Orava, the guitar-playing squirrel! If you can’t read Finnish, at least you’ll recognize the “video” button. (via Everlasting Blort)

My favorite squirrel is Scrat from the Ice Age movies. See him (still chasing an acorn) in his own animated short.

Mississippi Squirrel Revival

A bizarre squirrel vs. bike incident leaves a Finnish opera singer with a broken nose.

The case has been cracked! Who stole all those American flags from a cemetary in Wisconsin? Blame the squirrel!

Beware of Tufty, the Traffic Safety Squirrel. If that weren’t bad enough, check out the naughty b3ta version.  (NSFW audio)

The burning question is: How lethal is squirrel saliva?

Twirl A Squirrel! This device is activated by a squirrel’s weight, and slings him off a birdfeeder.

More anti-squirrel devices.

A town in England is considering building a bridge exclusively for red squirrels. Grey and black squirrels must find another route.

Scotland is overrun with gray squirrels. Official must decide whether to give them contraceptives or “cranial dispatch”.


REVENGE

There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.

So the man turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.

By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road. The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.

The driver rolls down the window.

The driver is a squirrel.

The squirrel says to the man says, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"

Previously on Miss Cellania: Squirrels

Thought for today: You can't be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. -Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and the City)

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References (1)

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Reader Comments (18)

I am likely high on the SUAHD* hit list

*Squirrels United Against Human Depravations
03.23.07 @ 01:19AM | Unregistered CommenterSkunkfeathers
"It’s enough to give you nightmares. Or at least the Willies, which is almost as bad as the heebie-jeebies."

Where do the fantods fit into that continuum?
03.23.07 @ 08:38AM | Unregistered CommenterCGHill
OMG, I hate squirrels! I have written about them before. They ate half the wiring and roof at my Mom's house.

Boo squirrels!!!
03.23.07 @ 08:52AM | Unregistered CommenterLisaBinDaCity
O' oh oh, goody goody this is wonderful! An entire episode of R&B. http://www.pistolwimp.com/media/57239/
03.23.07 @ 10:40AM | Unregistered CommenterWalter
Squirrels. Can't live with them, can't let them go in the morning without a big tip and cabfare.

By the way, MissC, see if you can track down the scene from Scrubs in which the Janitor holds his nightly stuffed squirrel convention...
03.23.07 @ 10:46AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
I remember that Scrubs. That was seriously demented.

I remember one day when Angus was young, and I caught him barking like crazy at a tree in our backyard. Looking up in the tree, I saw a squirrel on a branch, and I thought he was just barking at it for fun. Then I saw that squirrel pick up an acorn, take very careful aim with both hands, and throw it down at Angus' head.

I let him bark away.
03.23.07 @ 02:53PM | Unregistered CommenterJoe the Troll
Ms. C. ~ I have got to send this to my friend in Oklahoma at the Secret Squirrel Blog. She will love it! FUNNY STUFF! ~ jb///
03.23.07 @ 03:10PM | Unregistered CommenterLazy Blogger
Super squirrel pictures that made me smile.
03.23.07 @ 03:15PM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
Hi! I just had to come over and check out this post, i've had two of my commenters tell me to come see it! Very funny post and cute pics. Except I do take exception to the Sarah jessica comment about us being rats with cute outfits! LOL!
03.23.07 @ 04:06PM | Unregistered CommenterOklahoma Squirrel
Some things are just squirrly.

How about a post on straws? The symbol for suck it up. You know everyewhere you go almost in NYC you get straws. Like how you only get sweet tea in the south, Coke in Atlanta and Pepsi in Winston-Salem.

I just had to think of something you haven't covered. How about Dr. Pepper.
03.23.07 @ 04:38PM | Unregistered CommenterMotherPie
I don't know how common this is, but this bridge has been keeping squirrels out from under tires for as long as I can remember.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/WALONsquirrelbridge.html
03.23.07 @ 06:52PM | Unregistered CommenterJoel
Oh my goodness. I just came across your site today and how funny. I love it. I am very much looking forward to reading more of your humor.

Hail to the squirrel.
03.23.07 @ 08:40PM | Unregistered CommenterSarahD
Great job as usual Miss C. Spent nearly an hour here this evening being sidetracked hither and yon. And it was wrth every minute.
03.23.07 @ 09:17PM | Unregistered Commenterjoated
Squirrels recently ate most of the hoses and the wiring harness out of my car. $1100 later, I am less than fond of the little blighters.
03.28.07 @ 02:46PM | Unregistered Commentersocially acceptable rats
I am squirrel, too!!! ;)
12.28.07 @ 10:12AM | Unregistered CommenterIlaarijs
Well I do live in the south...& yes I DO like squirrels...they are fed with the birds..I have SQR-LLEY on my licence plate... use to have Prissy Sqrl..some one else has it.....LOL...LOL...yea it is true.. so life goes on for the squirrels....
07.15.08 @ 11:52PM | Unregistered CommenterJust Secret-Squirrel
HAHAHAHA! The squirrel that the two guys are standing on made me laugh...IS THAT REAL!?
05.30.09 @ 07:07PM | Unregistered CommenterKailyn

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