Bad Jobs

One thing about a bad job- it beats unemployment. I think. Actually, I’ve really enjoyed the unemployment, except for that part about running out of money. That’s a big part. If I could just my expenses down to, say, zero, I could raise my kids and blog indefinitely. I don’t mind working, but part of my problem right now is fear of landing a really bad job, like some in these links. I been lucky most of my working life; I just hope the luck holds out for another couple of decades til I qualify for Social Security.

Couple of decades? That in itself is depressing.


Don’t toss things at your co-workers. They may crack! (via Arbroath)

Odd Todd Productions has some animations that will make you feel better about your lousy job. At least you have one! Laid Off is the one on the opening page. also see Help Wanted. (Thanks, Keeper!)

Maybe we should just get rid of work altogether. (via Grow-A-Brain)

The artwork to the right, Working Stiff Cylinder is a poem about bureaucracy written on vellum and attached to a hamster wheel. The complete text of the poem can be found at Denise Duhamel’s page. (via Everlasting Blort)

Don’t Treat Your Employers Better Than They Treat You.

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty in Offices. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Low Morale is a series of animations dealing with “the soul-sapping, will-to-live draining” experience of work.

When its one of THOSE days and you feel you have the worst job in the world, take a look through the website Worst Jobs in the World and you’ll start to feel lucky immediately.

The Boss Toss. Load little plastic executives into the plastic shooting device and pull the trigger. Well worth $4.99 if you ask me! (via Neatorama)

Waste some precious work time by shooting rubber bands at your co-workers in the game Rubber Band It. (via Inane Thoughts and Insane Ramblings)

 

WARNING

(via Bits and Pieces)
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Job Seekers From The Past

Julius Caesar:

My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.

Jesse James:
I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of security measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticized, but I'd like to think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet:
My postilion was eliminated in a hostile takeover.

Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the department, our competition just seemed to drop out of sight one by one.

Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering new things.

Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I downsized my staff, my organization, and the populations of several countries.

Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind of guy who would knock off his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva:
What do you mean this isn't business casual?

Elvis:
My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?

 Thought for today: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet every evening down at the bar. - Drew Carey

If you liked this post, you'll find more like it in the Working category. 

humor jokes video funny games job work employment office cubicle

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Comments

[Anita]

Hey Miss C., that video was CRAZY! That's how I felt at work this week (luckily I had a couple other contributors to somewhat fill the void on my blog). If I didn't work in an office, typically by myself, that might have happened. Whew.

BTW - how is your job search going (I haven't read any blogs all week, so I apologize if I missed an update)?

BTW2 - I've noticed the little Stumble This on a bunch of blogs lately ... I wonder how many people click on them? Well, I'll give you a click, StumbleUpon is pretty addictive.

[Skunkfeathers]

The only good thing about a bad job is the incentive it gives one to find something better. As for unemployment...the last time I was (for about five weeks in 1996), my state's program pronounced me ineligible for unemployment, because I had quit the previous job to take the job that laid me off...bureaucratic dyslogic at what they think passes for work.

I'm only 16.5 years from official retirement, MsC; not to worry. At the rate of time passage, I can guarantee you it will continue to depress you to think about it LOL...

[Mamacita]

The office worker toss reminds me of a recent episode of "The Office." To torture a co-worker Jim hides the guy's cellphone in the ceiling, where it proceeds to go off all day, driving him mad.

[actor212]

I think we should all quit our jobs, cut the soles off our shoes, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute!

And I mean, all 300 million of us Americans. No cheating now!

[OldGuy]

I think work should have some sort of blogging component to it, like maybe you have to blog at least one hour a day to destress. I'm sure this would boost productivity at most companies. :)

[Jean-Luc Picard]

Those job seekers from the past made me laugh. I'm sure there are a lot more like that!

[Joe the Troll]

http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/horrors/a/turklebaum.htm

[Paul Sorrento]

There was always a rumour that the former owner of Phase 2 Clothing (Paul) would pay the hairdresser at Sorrento's across the street from us to watch us. Apparently, Paul didn't trust us and instead of paying us more money for our hard work, he paid a nosy Italian hairdresser to make sure we wouldn't goof off while in the store.
I worked at Phase 2 Clothing (in Bloor West Village) for 17 months. I made many attempts to leave. But in the end, the only way I escaped was by having the store close down.
I began my job at Phase 2 in May 2002. I said directly at my interview that I needed 4 days off in the summer to go to World Youth Day. I had already paid over $200 for the trip.
The manager interviewing me, said I could get the day off.
When the second manager interviewed me, I asked her about taking vacations in the summer. Every year, my family goes on a vacation.
The second manager's quote:
"Oh don't worry, WE'RE REALLY FLEXIBLE here, you'll have no trouble getting time off to go on a week vacation once you've been hired here."
Once I got hired, it was a different story. The only reason they allowed me to go to WYD was because I had worked shifts when others had called in sick.
And about being "flexible"? They wouldn't allow me to go to Alberta with my family. Instead, they told me that I WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO TAKE A WEEK OFF FOR A VACATION FOR A YEAR!!!.
This was in the summer, when it was really busy.
In January 2003, Paul left the company and the sales plummented. By April the store was virtually empty. When a new girl was hired that April, she was ALLOWED to take a week off right away just so that she could move her appartment. I found it very strange that their "no week off until a year" policy had changed. Funny how I wasn't allowed to have a week off in the summer when it was very busy and she was being given a week off just to move her apartment when business was nihil and she was being trained to be a valuable key-holder (a job I did not to opt for).
By September, the store had to close down. They couldn't find a lasting key holder because strangely enough, no one who worked at Phase 2 stayed there long enough.
So far 4 of their 7 stores have closed. And I look forward to the day that they all close down.
Other Pet Peeves: working 5.5 hours without breaks THIS IS ILLEGAL

[Document Binders]

I have checked the link of Denise Duhamel’s page.It is amazing .It is a novel concept though.