Coffee

I love coffee. I drink coffee. I drink it all day long. I can't blame my insomnia on coffee, because I've drunk coffee like a fiend since I was a teenager, but I've only had insomnia for a couple years. Every study they do on coffee shows how its GOOD for you. It makes you smarter. It makes you happier. It improves memory. It cures migraines and alleviates asthma symptoms. It gives you an excuse to spend time with someone you've just met. What can be so wrong about something so delicious and useful? Coffee is included in this National Geographic article on 6 drinks that changed the world.

Read more about coffee at The Energy Fiend. Lots of caffeine info, including a calculator to find out how many of your favorite caffeine drinks it will take to kill you.

Yes, I have a game to go with this subject: Coffee Tycoon.

Coffee Club.

I don't understand this. Geeks like caffeine without the coffee?

What I want for Christmas! A caffeine molecule T-shirt.

Proclaim your coffeeholism by sending a message in a coffee cup!

Coffeegeek is a great site for coffee addicts like me.

I personally don't care for flavored coffees, or adding stuff like cream and sugar (yuck). But its nice to know whether my coffee was harvested by slave labor or not.

Now, if you WANT to turn OFF your taste for coffee, read about Weasel Poop Coffee.

Here's the picture where you're supposed to find the man in the coffee beans. If you find him quickly, you're right-brained. If you have trouble, you are left-brained. If you are a coffee addict, you look at this and say "I bet that smells good."

Caffeine Addict's Quiz
Do you want to know if you suffer from "Alertness Deficit Disorder" (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn't scare you, let's just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU! If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks could be FATAL. The following series of Yes/No questions will allow us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either way, read on.
1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?

2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it's easier?

3. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your own coffee?

4. Do you find that it's easier to drink more coffee than go to sleep?

5.
a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee?
b) Right out of the pot?

6. Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee related products?

7. Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?

8. Has anyone ever told you that you "have a problem"?

9. Do you need coffee:
a) ...to get up in the morning?
b) ...to get out of bed?
c) ...to be injected intravenously to stimulate blood-flow?

10. Do you own a "Coffee Helmet"? (For the culturally ignorant, a coffee- helmet is a hat with coffee-cups attached to it and a straw coming out of each cup leading to the mouth, used for hands-free drinking.)

11. Do Native North American Aboriginal Indian Peoples call you "Ona mac towanda" (Smells-like- coffee)?

12. Does your doctor measure your heartbeat on the Richter scale as well as by its frequency?

13. Have you ever sold personal or other people's possessions just to get your fix for the day?

14. Does the phrase "swiss water decaffienated" strike terror into your heart?

15.
a) Do you have a coffee maker in more than one room of your house?
b) ...in more than five?
c) ...in your bathroom?

16.
a) Do the people at Second Cup refuse do give you free coffee cards anymore?
b) ...because you're wearing out their hole-punch?
c) ...and it's bad for the environment?

 17. Do you grind your own coffee?

18. Do you grow your own coffee?

19. Have you ever been fired from a job because you're "drinking their profits"?

20.
a) Do you know Juan Valdez?
b) ...and his donkey?
c) ...intimately?

21. Do you salivate uncontrollably whenever you hear dripping water?

22.
a) Is sleep a hobby of yours?
b) ...that you don't like?
c) ...because it's too frustrating?

Misscellania definition
Coffee: A person who is coughed upon.

Thought for today: If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. -David Letterman

This post originally appeared on November 22nd, 2005.

humor links coffee caffeine funny

Comments

[coffee table]

Great blog,

Keep up the good work.
starbucks coffee

[Anonymous]

I'm am so happy to be cured after suffering for 13 years of asthma that I would like to inform all readers of your valuable blog about the treatment or cure for asthma that gave me my life back. To all sufferers I would like to say never to give up and give this one a try. Although everybody react different to specific asthma treatments, it is the only treatment that helped me taking my life back. I'm so happy I even haven't got any words for it! Benny.

[Raggedy]

Why is it that we both had posts on coffee this week?
What is wrong with us? lol
I did a TT on too much coffee.
This was a great post with great links!
Thanks
Huggles

[Skunkfeathers]

My coffee mug became a beerstein when my new coffee maker wouldn't accommodate it. Darn fool piece of apparatus...

Weasel poop coffee? Takes all kinds, I guess ;)

[Jean-Luc Picard]

I would have lefty a message, but I need some coffee.

[actor212]

I can't for the life of me fathom why people pay...pardon me, OVERpay...for a cup of charred hot brown bitter liquid that tastes like the leavings of a diarrhetic frog after a meal of stinkbugs, and then have to put their own milk and sugar in it after paying some "barista" (sounds like "bandita" for a reason, folks!) half their hourly wage PLUS a tip!

Starbucks, Peets, Oren's....they all suck. I make my own, or buy it from the really nice Palestinian guys on the corner OUTSIDE Starbucks for a dollar, and two if I want the big fat happy blueberry muffin...

[Miss Cellania]

Actor, there was an survey recently about how McDonald's coffee is better than Starbucks... I need to find that and add it to the post. My kids refer to coffee as "beanwater."

[joated]

"I can't blame my insomnia on coffee, because I've drunk coffee like a fiend since I was a teenager, but I've only had insomnia for a couple years."

Just means it's finally built up to critical mass. What's your blood work say, "75% caffinated".

Sorry. I'm just jealous. If I have a cup of caffinated coffee after 2 PM I'll have to stay up an extra two hours or toss and turn for two. I get to choose. But only from those two.

[Jacq]

I like dark chocolate cappuccino from Hills Bros.Instant. I'm not a big coffee drinker, and I don't even own a coffee machine. Sometimes if I have Italian food I may order an expresso, but those are rare occasions. Actually, I've always been a tea drinker, and within the last three years, I've been addicted to Chai Tea and Chai latte. But I'll take a cup of herbal or Earl Grey anytime.

[jbmcoffee.blogpsot.com]

Wow a woman after my own heart :)

[klatchiancoffee]

coffeeholics unite! i included this post in my links page, wonderful post.