Fart
Sometimes I’m confused. As the mama to two young ladies, I am supposed to frown upon fart jokes and teach them how to be ladylike. At the same time, they come out with some of the funniest jokes and songs I’ve ever heard, and I can’t help but laugh. In a perfect world, their daddy would laugh while I run to the kitchen, or at least hide my face. Then after I pulled myself together, I’d explain why this is inappropriate. As it is, they are watching for my reaction. They’ve got a lot to learn. Grandma asked them if they knew any new songs.. of course they did... “Beans, beans, good for your...” Who taught you that? "Mama!" Fart jokes are funny, and in the worst context, they are funnier than ever. Remember Saur’s Christmas Fart? Or Musikdude’s story Christmas -What A Gas! Sometimes you just can’t help but laugh!
Japanese scientists tackle the problem of smelly farts. This video is ten minutes long, but it gets funnier along the way. Would someone please add subtitles to this?! (via TV in Japan)
The Fart Farm has files of fart sounds. Warning: May be loud.
CreateFarts lets you design a fart and send it to a friend.
Five great fart-lighting videos.
In Tilde’s Fart Game, the object is to fart on as many rats as possible in 90 seconds.
The Japanese Firefox logo has a gas problem.
Captain Kirk is kidding himself.
Flatulence can get you beat up in jail! (via Look At This)
A word from our sponsor, Glade Plug-Ups. Audio NSFW! (via Everlasting Blort)
The professional farter. (Thanks, Admin!)
THE COW
(via Holtie’s House)
Ole is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be 'North Dakota' for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.
Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls...the cow farts.
Ole is very surprised.
He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take it home.
When he gets back to Minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat - and the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?"
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?"
Sven says, "My wife is from Nordakota."
JET FUEL
(Thanks, Eva!)
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Philadelphia. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"
So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I ! feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing."
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No "
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Denver."
Belgian Farting Pig. I love how they felt it neccessary to subtitle the fart sound.
Thought for today: I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different. -Kurt Vonnegut
References (2)
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Response: Because you mocked Hello KittyThis is Foxkeh, the Japanese spokescreature for Mozilla Firefox. Unlike the critter-grasping-the-globe logo used elsewhere, this Fox has a different fire entirely: Jumpin' Jack Flash was not available for comment. (Via Miss Cellania.)... -
Response: The Famous Belgian Farting PigThis is quite possibly the silliest video ever. Great for 30 seconds of laughs:(if you can’t see the video, click here)Their use of subtitles is classic. Thanks to Miss Cellania for the video!...
















Reader Comments (18)
Y'all are just mean...
*smacks Miss C
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one
On the other hand, for those who find "pull my finger" to be clearly over the top, there's this:
http://www.outofthinair.homestead.com/pullfinger2005.html
or this:
http://www.outofthinair.homestead.com/holidayboncophhft.html
http://www.outofthinair.homestead.com/fingerpull2005.html
I'm in the same boat as you ... I know I shouldn't be condoning fart jokes, but every time my 2 year old rips one and laughs I have to laugh too. He even says things like "Mommy pooted" ... too funny.
This post was pretty funny.
I especially enjoy George Carlin's rendition of fart jokes in his earlier routines. Funny stuff.
Then there's always The Klumps from Eddie Murphy's version of the Nutty Professor. The dinner table scene is hilarious!
Love your sense of humour!
Nice post, MissC!
Kinda reminds me of the Swedish guy in the Ikea commercials.