Eyes
Tuesday, 02.06.07 @ 12:01AM 
Most of my life, I’ve been proud of my terrific vision. I’d take a driver’s test and see objects way beyond what was required. The tester would say “that’s enough.” Once I was told I had 20/10 vision, meaning I could see at 20 feet what most normal folks could only see at ten feet. Those days are over. My mother warned me that it would go downhill after 40, and she was right. A few years ago I finally broke down and had my first eye exam in decades, after I had trouble threading a needle. The verdict: bifocals. Now I wear them for all activities except housework and computer work. The computer is the perfect distance for my sight, but reading from paper makes me feel like they’ve change print size lately, and outside I don’t feel comfortable if I can’t see the leaves on distant trees. How about you- has age affected your sight as well?
This lady can bulge her eyes!
More creepy eyes.
How to protect yourself from The Evil Eye.
| Your Eyes Should Be Green |
 |
What Color Should Your Eyes Be?
Funny, they got that one right. My eyes ARE green!
Nagi Noda is a Japanese video designer who has been called “one of the most influential woman in Japan.” She was the brains behind the Poodle Exercise video entitled "FITNESS VIDEO for being appraised as an EX-FAT GIRL" we saw last year. Here is another of her many projects. (via Everlasting Blort)
Vespa illusion, a pretty neat optical thingy.
Dr. Fun’s Eyeball Humor.
A Photoshop tutorial on how to put funny eyeballs on pictures.
The Amy Sedaris Craft Challenge asks for pictures of food made cute with eyeballs. Go see whats already been submitted.
EYE CHART
(via Bits and Pieces)
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the guy replied, "I know the guy."
WINKING
(via Wulfweard)
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.
"Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over, the country!"
"Womanizing? What do you mean? I'm a happily married man!"
"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"
"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a chemist, winking, and asked for aspirin?"
THE EXAM
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.
The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses."
"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."
Darkness Light Darkeness by Jan Svankmajer (1990).
Thought for today: Who are you gonna believe, me, or your lyin’ eyes?
humor jokes video funny games eyes eyeballs ocular optometrist glasses
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Reader Comments (15)
I got my first pair of glasses at 39. Headaches got me sent to the optometrist for an astigmatism diagnosis. I was a little bummed....but I do remember being amazed at how much better I could see with my glasses (reading/driving at night mainly);
Aging is not for sissies!
I have terrible vision. Thank goodness for contacts!
Dad's given me the same sage warning your Mom gave you, but I know it'll never happen to me because I'm Superman.
So far.
on the other hand, an attractive blonde with glasses...sigh...that's my weakness.
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