One day in the car on the way to school, I was telling my children how much I enjoyed reading when I was their age. I named off my favorite young reader books: A Wrinkle in Time, The Chronicles of Narnia, Charlotte’s Web, etc etc (I didn’t mention all the Superman comic books). My youngest looked at me skeptically and said “They didn’t have books back then!” Oh my. She was thinking about all the things I told her we didn’t have when I was a kid... computers, cell phones, CDs, videocameras, microwaves, so of course she thought we lived in a cave and amused ourselves with playing tic-tac-toe in the dirt. But I was a bookworm, reading in bed way past bedtime every night. I dreamed of writing books when I grew up. Then I grew up and did something else, but lo and behold, I’m writing for money now!

Stop-Motion Bookshelf

Why Jane Autin never married.

Furniture condusive to reading: The Bibliochaise. It contains 5 linear metres of books and thanks to a special fitting structure is easily disassembled.

The early days of books weren’t so easy. Luckily, there was tech support to help out.

What kind of reader are you? (via J-Walk Blog)

A gallery of unusual book titles.

The Literary Cat Homepage. (via Everlasting Blort)

Blog of the Day: Babes with Books. Because smart girls are hot. (via the Presurfer)

Here’s an ad that explains the lasting value of books. (via Boingboing)

Eve Corbel’s Guide to Literary Accessories, found at Geist. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Cyanide and Happiness on literacy.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

What is your literary personality? (via Frontier Editor)

SELF-HELP BOOK

So this computer scientist is like a real uptight guy, uncomfortable in his own skin, has a hard time relating to people, you know the type, right? So he's in a bookstore, sees a book called "How to Hug", so he thinks yes, this could really help. So he buys it, takes it home, starts to read it, and damn it if isn't volume 8 of an encyclopedia!

March of the Librarians

Twice a year, tens of thousands of librarians make a trek across the United States to a meeting of the American Library Association. They come to learn, to network, to collect free stuff, and possibly to mate. After observing these noble creatures, certain patterns become apparent. The male librarians often display fabulous facial plumage, perhaps in order to attract a mate. In six months, they will descend on a new city, and the strange ritual will unfold again.

The Librarian and the Chicken

A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk. When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken. The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.

The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks, "Book, book, book, BOOK!"

The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken. The chicken disappears.

The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashioon, it seems), "Book, book, book, BOOK!" By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library. She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows. On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh. The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time.

The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying, "Read it, read it, read it..."

WHAT SHE NEEDED

An eight year girl is trying to check out a book entitled "Advice for Young Mothers" from the local library.

Librarian: Now why do you want to check out this particular book, dear?

Little girl: I collect moths.

Question for Librarians

(via Things People Said)

*  "I'm looking for a book."

* "Do you have books here?"

* "Do you have a list of all the books written in the English language?"

* "Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read?"

* "I'm looking for Robert James Waller's book, 'Waltzing through Grand Rapids." -- The actual title is "Slow Waltz In Cedar Bend."

* "Where is the reference desk?" -- Asked of a worker sitting at a desk, over which was a sign saying 'REFERENCE DESK'.

* "Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?"

* "Which outlets in the library are appropriate for my hairdryer?"

* "I was here about three weeks ago looking at a cookbook that cost $39.95. Do you know which one it is?"

* "I need a color photograph of George Washington." -- Other individuals asked for, by other patrons, are Christopher Columbus, King Arthur, Moses, Socrates, and more.

* "Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs?"

* "I'm looking for information on carpal tunnel syndrome. I think I'm having trouble with it in my neck."

* "Is the basement upstairs?"    

* "I am looking for a list of laws that I can break that would send me back to jail for a couple of months."

* "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It's big and red, and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?    

* "Do you have anything good to read?" -- The response was, "No, ma'am. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds."

Library Anecdote

    * Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the earth."
    * Librarian: "We have a table-top model over here."
    * Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life-size?"
    * Librarian: (pause) "Yes, but it's in use right now."

Blonde in a library

Previously on Miss Cellania: Mars and Venus: Literature and Literature

Thought for today: Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

PS Go visit Miss C Recommends for more timely hot links, especially I am Spartacus.

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